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Teen Poetry #4
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Dana Samples
Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68


0 posted 2001-04-09 06:34 PM



               "Soiled Hands"

ONE PERSON DOWN, SAYING A PRAYER, BEGGING TO LIVE, LIFE TIS NOT FAIR…MAN GOES CRAZY, SHOOTS UP A SCHOOL, KILLS A FEW KIDS, BLOODS IN THE POOL…8 HAVE BEEN SHOOT, 5 ARE LEFT DEAD, 3 ARE INJURED, the headlines read…

"Something’s not right," she said, "this can’t be true, who could do this, just kill a few?"

"Reality; tis not the same," I answer, "more a nightmare, and we’re to quick to blame…"

"But who is to blame?
It is God! No, he is not filled with hate. Tis the Devil than! No, to obvious…
Then who is at fault?"

"Tis human hands, that do slaughter." I patiently respond, "Never come clean, with just plain water. Thus soiled hands, must pay the price. Come and listen, take my advice…
‘Wash thy foul hands, deep within thy heart. Learn to love one, tis where you’ll start. Go hand in hand, and you will see; tis never hate that sets one free. Rather it love, that taste so sweet. Now hand in hand, love has hate beat. Love from one can never be bought. Thus leaves me with one final thought. Tis easier, for one to hate. For love is hard, and there’s no debate…"

"Are we lazy?" She innocently asks.
"Yes we must be. To lazy to work. Rather to hate one, and act like vile jerks. So we are sacrificing?"

"Yes!" I insist. "Ones joy in life. Joy only received by love. The love that sets one free, free to fly with the doves! Thus brings my point. Human hands will remain unclean, ‘til one stops killing doves. So we can fly free and be seen."

By: Dana Samples 4-1-01
    

[This message has been edited by Dana Samples (edited 04-10-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved
Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
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Lynchburg, Virginia
1 posted 2001-04-09 07:08 PM


This is so sad, Dana.  I can't believe no one has replied yet.  This is a touchy subject in Teen.  A lot of people feel strongly about the kids killing kids event that's going on all over the nation.
Very nice job on this poem.  It realy made me sit back and think.  It's very well written, and I can't wait to read what's next from you.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-09 08:59 PM


I think this might belong in the Prose forum. Anyhow I liked this.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-04-09 11:19 PM


I see that it is more of a poem than prose really... but the lines could be broken up a bit more to accentuate that.  
I like the use of language in here... very old-fashioned.  It added an unusual mood to such a modern problem.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Heavens Tears
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4 posted 2001-04-10 09:31 AM


This poem in excellent, but so sad!  Great job though!  Keep writing!

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA
5 posted 2001-04-11 07:36 AM


This is pretty good Dana. Though not your average form of poetry, and interesting one at least. Try breaking it up into shorter lines, and it will look a bit more like a poem. Keep it up

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

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