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Teen Poetry #4
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-04-09 02:26 PM



You've broken my heart for the last time
don't you come crawling back
when he suddenly treats you bad
cause you're the last person I ever wanna see
couldn't you just confront me
told me, that you'd found someone else
or am I just your playground.
NO, don't even bother I'm better of by my self
don't need you dragging me down.

Once again, is it just a coincidence
that I found this note
with a number from 42th. street
don't think so. Who is he? You better tell me
before I lose control
and pierce this madness through your soul

You told me I was the only one
but I found out, and now we're through,
totally done
I'm walking out that door
I don'y wanna see your face no more
I'm tired of your apologies and all your lies
girl this time we're through, done, no more

Everything you told me where just a lie
can't believe I bout it
bout every single word you said
you told me I was your shinning star
I guess that where just another of your lies
you told me never again
said you where sorry for all the pain
that you have cost through out time.
NO, ain't even listening I'm through with your stupid game
just want you outter my mind.

Once again, is it just a coincidence
that I found this note
with a number from 42th. street
don't think so. Who is he? You better tell me
before I lose control
and pierce this madness through your soul

You told me I was the only one
but I found out, and now we're through,
totally done
I'm walking out that door
I don'y wanna see your face no more
I'm tired of your apologies and all your lies
girl this time we're through, done, no more

© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2001-04-09 04:16 PM


  OH! Very nice work here. One thing: 42th? Hehe...that made me giggle. Other than that, this was a very Boo Ya worthy poem. Keep em comin.
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-09 08:12 PM


I liked this. Besides a few spelling erros I felt you did well. This is such a crappy situation you're in. How I hate cheaters *grits his teeth*

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64

3 posted 2001-04-09 08:44 PM


Im right in there with the cheater-hating thing...Bad situation youre in, good that you are ending it. Good poem
~Brittany~

Death is but an escape from loneliness

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

4 posted 2001-04-10 09:42 AM


I think I know how you feel.  Great poem though.  Very final answer, it sounds like.

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-04-14 07:09 PM


I see your standing up for yourself
thats a good thing
hope things do work out for you
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-04-15 05:50 PM


I'm glad you're taking control of the situation.
Nicely done  

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
7 posted 2001-04-15 06:52 PM


the rythem is kinda hard to follow..but ya know what, it doesnt matter, b.c the rythem isnt really what i look for...its the heart that matters..and i feel for ya
     <3  *~KiM~*

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