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Teen Poetry #4
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Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-04-09 01:43 PM


hey everyone, comment ca va? I know I havent been replying( hangs head and shuffles feet) but im gonna start again. you dont have to reply if u dont want. its not even close to good.

......title?.......

My body is sitting at the chair
eyes staring at the screen
fingers tapping away at the keys
My soul is lost, never to be found
misplaced forever in a world of
blackness, devouring me whole

No light, no shadows
just the pit of darkeness
narled branches dig into my flesh
my feelings roaming above my head

My arms give way, legs crumble
to the ground, hands clawing
against the sticky earth
horrible smells fill the air
the feeling of death and pain
crush my senses

I can taste the sour air
burning on my tongue
I feel your bitter lips upon
my ear

Your calloused hands ripple
on my arms, painful words
blister the sky

The water laughs at me
trees cut at my soul
your crude words
tear at my heart

for all i am is a lost and stupid girl


Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-04-09 03:16 PM


I'm gald to see you posting again and i didn't think it sucked at all.  you conveyed your feelings very well in this poem, great job and keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-09 07:14 PM


"My arms give way, legs crumble
to the ground, hands clawing
against the sticky earth"

This poem is very well written, Ina.  You expressed yourself so well... This poem was truly a pleasure to read, and I'm happy to see a new post from you.  Keep posting.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-09 09:04 PM


nicely done regi.
I liked it a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-09 11:22 PM


Great job, very powerful.  You creative phrasings like "blistering the sky" and "ripple on my arms" always make me jealous.     
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

5 posted 2001-04-09 11:37 PM


Parfait poème mon amie!! Je l'aime beaucoup.  
Ok, i dunno if that was all correct, but anyways..

This was really good, Ina.  I'm sorry you're feeling this way though. Hope everything turns around for you..
~Sarah

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-04-10 02:27 AM


silver are you on some medication????
anyways didn't get a thing that gurl said well...it didn't sucked actually it was nicely done soo keep writing

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