»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Nineteen Ninety Nine (villanelle)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Nineteen Ninety Nine (villanelle) |
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
|
The seedling sparks to rain divine Our peace is gone, the earth does shake The year is nineteen ninety nine Our hist'ry's ghost has clipped the line Creates a scalding, firey lake The seedling sparks to rain divine To tear out mankind's throbbing spine Our world, our lives are now at stake The year is nineteen ninety nine The good and bad of man combine As he arises, lives to take The seedling sparks to rain divine Our clothes and floors run red like wine For future days of which we spake The year is nineteen ninety nine The sands that will remain, so fine We stand before him and we break The seedling sparks to rain divine The year is nineteen ninety nine |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is another amazing poem, Allan... The style is perfect. I love the repition. The rhyme scheme is excellent.. This is a piece that truly shows your talent. It's poems like this that make me jealous and that go straight to the library!  Very nice job. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
||
|
Hand Me Down Junior Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 32WV |
Dude this is awsome work, its the first I've read of yours(since I am new). I hope to see some more. "Cause I can't fix something this complex anymore than I can build a rose" |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done Allan! I enjoyed this a great deal! Very well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Great poem. I liked your well-defined iambic rhythm. I also liked the imagery. My only critique is that you've used iambic tetrameter, instead of pentameter. I'm pretty sure that it's pentameter that villenelle uses. But other than that, this poem is fantastic. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Allan this is very good!!! I only learned about this form of poetry 3 years ago!  |
||
|
silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
The seedling sparks to rain divine The year is nineteen ninety nine I love how you alternated those two lines.. Great job, Allen, I really like this one. Creative  ~Sarah *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"The seedling sparks to rain divine Our peace is gone, the earth does shake The year is nineteen ninety nine" Some disturbing images here, pal. You do really well with this format, but more importantly, you portray the emotions beautifully. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY well done!!!!!! you are such a great poet. i wish i could write like you..... keep up the great work! -sarah |
||
|
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
*SCREAMS* WHAT WAS WRONG WITH NINTEEN NINETY NINE!!!!! THAT WAS A GOOD YEAR!!!!! Nah, loved the poem...you are a poet Allan from Passions. |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
LOL..... anyways great poem allan u always amaze me wit ur own style of poems i liked it keep writin. man |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
No matter what style you use in your writing, the finished product is always a masterpiece. excellent job, this goes into the library. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Bravo, bravo! Nice work once more, sunshine. Who cares if its pentameter or inameter or spamameter, it was a GREAT POEM!  ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
*has no idea was all da 'meters is* anyway, awsome piece of poetry Allan. Heh..I was listening to a midi file of X's Sky Lagoon theme from Megaman X4 (yes, I am on a Megaman spree lately), and this poem turns into an awsome song when read along with that tune. Heh..keep it up man -Kosetsu, the guru of the gameworld. It can't be! |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Kosetsu! I was waiting for your reply. Tell the nice people what game this is about? |
||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
*blinks* ack! I didn't even realize this was from a game! Eh..good CT poem, but I didn't even see the resemblance first time through. Sorry! Anyway, good poem It can't be! |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
ugh i hate you and your poetic brillance Just kidding! Haven't talked to you for awhile, but this is absolutly wonderful. Keep up the great work, although I know I don't have to tell you that Stay in touch~dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I love this style. so great. i think everyone should try it (except me...) c'ètait magnifique mon ami! bravo! Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
