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Teen Poetry #4
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Dana Samples
Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68


0 posted 2001-04-08 10:13 AM


hey guy this one is really personal and is hard for me to share but i trust you guys so be nice about replys please.  

"To My Father"

You are my father
my biological dad
How could one person
Make me feel so bad

You gave me my life
And my beautiful name
I used to think it was me
Now I know its you I should blame

Why did you leave?
You didn't have to walk away
I am your daughter
And I still need you everyday

Holidays come and go
I almost never get a card
To show your daughter you care
I didn't know could be so hard

Have you ever looked back
Especially at your wasted life
You won't see your oldest daughter
Or your very first wife

How can you possibly relax
And sit back in a seat
When you have a child you have abandon
And a wife I saw you beat

Why you left
I will probable never know
I just can't believe
That you were such a little boy you had to go

You had the whole word in your hands
But I guess you didn't care
Now I know why the say
Life isn't always fair

by: dana samples

[This message has been edited by Dana Samples (edited 04-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-08 11:00 AM


This is very good... it had me gaping at the screen while I read it.  Very emotional, very powerful.  I love this style of poetry, sort of angry at a person, but talking down to them.  It makes you seem very powerful in comparison to the person, who you portray as a "little boy."
Very well done!
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-08 01:02 PM


"Have you ever looked back
Especially at your wasted life
You won't see your oldest daughter
Or your very first wife"

This poem is very powerful.  It makes me angry just reading it... good poetry will do that to you.  I liked the style a lot, and the rhyme scheme was overall pretty good.  I'm sorry that you had to go through this.  No one deserves that.  Thank you for sharing this emotional poem.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2001-04-08 01:05 PM


  GOooOOoooOod morning! Is this the one in English class? Methinks so...Very good, dude...horrible stuff you had to deal with, but you really put it into words superbly...Well see you and that poem tomorro!
  ~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-08 03:12 PM


Very sad poem. I hope things get better for you. Took courage for you to share. I liked this a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-04-09 01:36 PM


The emotion and power in this poem are truly beautiful.  This is very well written, thank you so much for sharing it.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

orange()alligator
Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21

6 posted 2001-04-12 01:28 AM


hey,
while reading your poem it made me shiver.  i've sorta had the same expeirence, but never been able to put them into words as well as you have. i loved the poem!
-bergundy-

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-04-12 02:01 AM


i went thru similar maybe exact things as not a father and daughter but son and father which hurts more....i liked  how you wrote it great job.
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