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Teen Poetry #4
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princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-06 10:36 PM


The late fall's waning moon shone bright
Beside the sparkling stars, like diamonds shining
Across the dark velvety curtain of night.
These wonders of Heaven set my mind unwinding

My thoughts are devoid of any time or place,
But focus completely upon the bright stars,
Like notes of music, exclaiming God's grace.
Their beauty and rhythm surpass most by far.

The night's cool wind joins the elation,
Accompanied by rustling leaves and strange birds
Which sing together of God's great creation,
A tune with neither written lyrics nor words,

A heartfelt melody proclaimed by night
To praise the God of love, of life, of light.



© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-04-06 11:54 PM


I really like this poem and i thought the format and rhyme scheme were very good.  I think that your pieces are more powerful when you get away from love poetry a bit.  good job and keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-07 12:23 PM


tell u truth the format and rym was all nicely written but wat i liked more was the tru meaning behind the poem. great job  
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-07 03:18 AM


I liked the Couplet at the end of the poem. Very serene feelings here. I enjoyed this greatly!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
4 posted 2001-04-07 01:12 PM


Hey,


    I liked it also, the  rhyme scheme was good. Until your next poem

      -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-04-07 02:02 PM


Ah, yes, I think it was very good, as Dopey said I liked the couplet at the end.  
And I'll agree that you have more power when you depart from your usual style!  
The title was neat.  
There are many reasons I like this poem... keep up the great work hun!
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

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