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Teen Poetry #4
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April, -- melancholy bliss...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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April, -- melancholy bliss... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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April, -- melancholy bliss, April, -- joyful dejection, Dreams of passionate affection,-- April’s nothing but a tease. Lost and happy that I’m lost, In the labyrinths of sadness, You are driving me to madness, April, -- my eternal host. April, -- nothing seems enough... April, -- touching declarations Uncontrollable sensations,-- I am drowning in her love. April, -- wandering in gloom. April, -- windows always opened And insomnia, so often, Still evokes her sweet perfume. Check out my poetry here: |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I like all the work i've read from you but i thought this was far from your best work. i dunno, i guess it seemed a bit scattered to me. anyway, nice job and keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This poem is fantastic! I love the repetition. Great work. Keep writing. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very very different style from what I'm used to seeing. Very nice though. Not your best but I completely appreciated the style and the last line rocked.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Such a wonderful description of the tormenting sensations that love can bring. I enjoyed this one. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I agree this is not what I am used to seeing from you and in my view not your best work. I however did enjoy reading the poem and that this is still a good poem. Until your next masterpeice  -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I did think this one was good... very nice job with the meter and everything, it flowed well. However I'd have to say that the last paragraph was disappointing, in that it defied the scheme of rhyme that I had grown so attached to. One thing I have noticed about your work is that you sometimes settle for a rhyme that isn't quite a rhyme, if I had to critique something about you in general it would be this. I hope to read more of yours, Master. You do have quite a bit of talent. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
April happens to be my favorite month  No matter what, I always look forward to reading your work Great job keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
I respectfully disagree from the rest of our peers I think often times master sacrifices the "perfect" rhyme for the PERFECT word...his imagry is amazing, nobody ive seen on passions captures the relationship between love and loss like master can write on bro |
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