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Teen Poetry #4
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Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
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0 posted 2001-04-04 05:05 PM


Apology.

Transparent to your eyes,
I’m without your gentle touch,
It should come as no surprise,
That I love you very much,
You keep on walking past me,
You turn and look away,
I’m locked out without a key,
You hearts pushing me away,
I know it is still painful,
You still need time to heal,
It’s time I was more careful,
With whose heart I try to steal,
I wish that I could help you,
To try and mend your heart,
A friendship can we start a new?
Or have we drifted too far apart,
I’ll regret it for all time,
But I think that you will know it,
So I apologise in rhyme,
A lonely, heart breaking poet.


This morning I had a moment of clarity, everything was put into perspective, I saw what I need to do and now I know how I am going to do it. The thing is it was just a dream and when I woke up everything had changed and some how the world wasn't perfect, I was confused as ever and I felt the same deep regrets that I feel everyday. That's why it's important to think happy thoughts before you go to bed so that you can have a nice dream.My dad told me that when I was 5 and it's worked
and I'm 18 now and I haven't had a single nightmare just a little too much reality creeping into my dreams. By the way I have no idea why I thought you would want to know this but maybe you do.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
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since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-04-04 05:36 PM


The flow and the images int his poem are truly excellent.  i like this poem a lot, it's going straight into my library.  thanks for the read and keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-04 06:03 PM


Ok dude, i really am happy you told me about what yer father said to you. I found it to be amazing. I really liked it....yer father sounds like a good guy....
Maybe the reality isn't so bad.....I'm a dreamer, but if I focus out off of reality then I'd be completely messed up and in my own world....which isn't too good if i'd like to get somewhere in the real world.
I thought the poem rocked too....very good.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heart=Life
Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 29
United Kingdom
3 posted 2001-04-05 05:47 PM


Been their before, aint pretty to be goin through or gone through for my case but you eventually bring a smile to your face and keep it!!! Excellant poem, really well presented and deeply thought out and applyed your feelings into a poem.
AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
4 posted 2001-04-07 06:16 AM


Wow, it seems that every where I look there's a poem that seems to fit in with me so well.
I too am trying to appologise to someone who just doesn't seem to want to listen.  It's so frustrating.

I loved the poem.

Ad if you need someone to talk to, my e-mail address is listed.

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
5 posted 2001-04-07 12:17 PM


Hey,

      Well they said everything I would have so all i have to say is...Until your next poem

         -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-04-07 01:46 PM


I did think this was good, but I have to say that the flow was a bit fragmented.  There were a few lines that just didn't fit in with the syllable scheme and meter... you really should try harder to make everything fit together better, the flow would be greatly improved.
Until next I read yours, Andrew.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

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