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Teen Poetry #4
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HappyPretender
Junior Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 38
Prince George, VA

0 posted 2001-04-04 01:16 PM


Ever found an angel
That made your dreams come true
Well all of this
I have found in you
In your arms
You'll be holding me tight
Chasing away all the fright

It feels so right
I don't wanna go wrong
Lose this battle
I never will
I'm gonna be strong
My heart is not gonna break
For you won't take
What we make

What we make
Is two become one
Never will our days
Ever be done.

© Copyright 2001 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-04 04:34 PM


nice job on this a little bit longer but long poems r good also it was good keep writin
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-04 05:59 PM


Very positive poem about your relationship with this person. I liked it....thought it was nice.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
3 posted 2001-04-06 05:41 AM


uh hu nice...maybe you tried a little too hard to make it rhyme...rhyme is not your best friend, just a close acquaintence...

I liked the Pretender...did you?  I was bumbed they stopped making it...Michael T.Weiss was hot...
oh well...

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-04-06 07:42 AM


Not my favorite poem from you, but still a good piece.  It was very positive and had a really nice  mood to it.  keep writing and posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-04-07 12:53 PM


Good job on this poem.  It's different than the poems I have read from you, and I like this.  Nicely done.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-04-07 01:21 PM


I agree with Marie, change is good.  Furthermore, I disagree with Shell, rhyme can be your best friend, if you learn how and when to use it.  One thing I did like about this poem was the scheme of rhyme.
Keep up the good work, I'll keep reading.    
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-07-2001).]

Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64

7 posted 2001-04-07 05:48 PM


Grrr im jealous,you have your angel.
Good post,anyway :-)
~Brittany~

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-04-11 11:38 PM


You've expressed you sentiments very well.  Sucha swett poem.  Thanks for sharing and di hope to see more  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-04-12 02:02 PM


It is wonderful that you found an angel...just never let it go.
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
10 posted 2001-04-12 02:04 PM


Hey,

  What they said  

  -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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