Untitled - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

starryeyed999
Junior Member

since 2001-03-05

Posts 35

0 posted 2001-04-03 09:29 PM

You had your chance, but blew it.
We could've made something.
I knew you liked me, and
you knew I liked you...
even though you weren't ready for this,
you could've told me how you felt.

Instead, he came along,
He got the guts,
Yes, the one you don't like.
We could've been together,
but now its too late.
Please, don't hate me,
you know I couldn't wait.

You see, I like you both,
but he was ready for me,
I can't just wait until it's convienent for you,
I had to move on,
and see if there was something new.

<*Lacy*>
"I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I'll get back to you."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-04-03 11:00 PM

Well done. I liked it, but the subject is blah. I think it sucks to like two people at the same time and then be sorry that you're with one. SO it's like you'll continue to like both and then what's the point in beign in a comittment?

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

2 posted 2001-04-05 04:37 PM

Good job on this poem

I'm wondering if you gave this to the other one?

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
Unknown
Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum?

Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

3 posted 2001-04-05 10:41 PM

All i can say is that i totally agree w/ dopey, 'nuff said.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-04-18 04:53 PM

Reminds me of first come first serve

Hey girl, you gotta do what you gotta do

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-04-18 05:17 PM

i like this a lot, i think you wrote it very well. my only critique is in the lines:

"i knew you liked me, and
you knew i liked you"

i think that the first stanza would flow better if you brought the and down to the begining of the next line, instead of having a line break after and, but that's just me. anyway, great job, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.