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Teen Poetry #4
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Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-04-02 06:33 PM


hey there. how is everyone?good i hope. here's my 500th post. this one is different than my others.
i need help with a title.

Hold me close, hold me tight
brush your sweet lips against my skin
keep me safe and warm
let's get away from this world
close our eyes, drift away
my body flushed with ectasy
burning fire spreads into our bodies
I feel the power of your body against mine

Hapiness curls through my veins as
our bodies lay entwined in slumer
sweet dreams of love blur my mind
soft fingers run their course along my neck
soft electrical currents rush through my veins

Whispered touches and chanted words
fill the air with love and passion
filling me with an unknown need
pulling me into a hazy sky
showering me with heat

i feel your heart beat and
sleep away my troules
entwined with your body.

Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-02 11:14 PM



CONGRATULATIONS REGINA



Wow..... 500??  Now you can come and check out the Sanctuary!     Hope to see you in there often, it's a great place to be with people from all over PIP!  And it's one of the finer points of senior membership, in my opinion.
The poem.... wow, you really outdid yourself for your 500th post.  I'm curious, how long were you working on this for?  I think it's absolutely perfect.... what a well-toned feel it gave me.  Made me close my eyes for a minute and imagine the feeling... how wonderful that you can communicate love so powerfully in your poetry, and how jealous I am.     
I think this is one of your best, obviously.  And it's not even a gloomy one!     So library, here it comes...
Oh and I'm getting into the E-card thing... I sent you something special in congratulations.  
So one last time, congrats to you!  And a wonderful poem, Regina!
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-04-03 08:37 AM


I think allan said all there is to say.  congratulations both for your 500th post and for creating such a beautiful poem, it is truly a masterpiece.  as far as the title goes, i think it might be better as simply entwined or bodies entwined without the together but that's just me.  i look forward to reading your future posts and i hope i get to see your 1,000th as well.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-03 09:15 PM


Congrats on the 500!!!
Well I liked this poem.....it seemed kind of between PG-13 and R hehe.....i liked it though, very sweet poem. I'm used to dark poems from you, but this was a pleasant change.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-03 09:29 PM


Beautiful poem!  Congrats on the number of posts you have.  This poem is going straight into my library.  Great job!

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-04-18 05:01 PM


Perfect

That's all I'm gonna say about it

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
6 posted 2001-04-18 05:04 PM


Whoa...yeah I'll ditto all that........

There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown

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