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Teen Poetry #4
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-04-02 05:44 PM


Commitment has taken up all of my precious time
So here I stand on this dead street in this lonely town
Praying that faith will hold it’s hand upon my life
Making sure that my soul will never fall to the ground

Where am I going nobody knows
Leaving everything behind
Cause I’ve chosen to walk this life on my own.

The dark clouds has brought rain and thunder into my heart
But still I’m holding on until the sun rises again
Hoping the key to my life is still one part
Walking down these empty streets wishing that time will turn again

Closing my eyes don’t know
which way to go


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

1 posted 2001-04-02 05:52 PM


Hmm.. this is a very powerful poem, lots of emotion. I like it alot. I hope this situation, whatever it may be, clears up for you..  
Take care, and keep posting!

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-04-02 05:53 PM


This is by far one of the best pieces you've written.  It has some nice images and it flows well.  Very well done.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2001-04-02 05:53 PM


Very good poem. This situation that you have doesnt seem very good. hope all turns out.

regina
keep posting!

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-02 05:56 PM


"So here I stand on this dead street in this lonely town
Praying that faith will hold it’s hand upon my life"

This is beautiful!  I hope everything's okay with you.  Keep your head up and stay strong.     Great job with the poem.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Martinque
Member
since 2000-05-17
Posts 69

5 posted 2001-04-02 05:58 PM


Great Job!
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
6 posted 2001-04-02 06:37 PM


  Wow, this is a good work.  I mean really good, I love your work - all of it! into the library!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-03 07:42 PM


Nicely done......I liked it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-04-03 09:18 PM


i hope things clear up in ur life
even though i'm lost in darkness also but
we can do it right? cool keep writin though

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-04-19 06:19 PM


a wonderful read indeed.  I'm amazed and impressed.  keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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