»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
A Poet Lost Her Mind Upon the Death of Yesternight
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
A Poet Lost Her Mind Upon the Death of Yesternight |
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
|
Flip the switch Turn off the Luminating Beams that are staring at your mind Naked before the judge, before the world before your fall, you cry "the blankets are inadequate" to cover all distaste make haste, and melt dissapate the darkness flip the switch welcome back make a wish and pray to moonlit shadows that the pupils soon will fade |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
This is very cool Carly! I like your work a lot, you should post more often! "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
||
|
StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
nice work carly! I was very impressed by the form...it's not too often that you see totally abstract clauses. thanks so much for sharing this...i just had a new idea...thanks!  ~*~Jesilyn~*~"Tell me why you cry" |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
ahhh i'm all dizzy lookin back and forth.... anyhow that was a good poem there hehe keep writin |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The title to this one really caught my eye. I like the format, it really adds to the poem. Nice job, Carly, I always enjoy reading your work. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
||
|
Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
you know i love your work carly so i wont even mention it i think that the format was wonderful and really adds to the poem San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 04-01-2001).] |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
wonderful you amaze me every time SUCH TALENT! SUCH TALENT! don't forget me when your famous Jason |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yessir.      The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
||
|
JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Thats pretty darn neat there carly, i liked it a a lot!! Keep posting!! |
||
|
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Whoa, as always from you this was a great piece. Keep it up Carly. >¶Øʆ< |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
The format of this piece really helped with reading the poem. amazing! regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
*Ding ding ding!* Yup yup, it's a winner. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The poem is very good and the format is wonderful you are a very talented writer. |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Shank you, shank you all you wunnerful peeple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Carly Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this. I have read better from you carly but I did think the formatting and poem itself was quite original.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Marvelous job Carly..... All your poems make me envy your talent keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great poem Carly, I really loved the format. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
*bump*...page one this was a nice poem...and check out this poems format  ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!! [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-26-2001).] |
||
|
Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Carly~ This is so unique and so good! I like the way you formatted it too!! Keep it up! "If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." |
||
|
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i am glad that this was bumped up...but to satisfy my curiousity, may i ask why the words "Luminating Beams" are capped? an original subject matter done wonderfully... |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Sorry I missed this the first time! But I loved the format, and the poem was really interesting. Great job here. Jenn "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
||
|
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Free verse!!!!!!! And your free verse hold just as much beauty and wisdom as your structured pieces do. I enjoyed this one a lot, thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Whoa this one's kinda old....thanks for the bump mister Al. I think I capitalized that because my audience is a proper noun. Always being watched, even in the darkness...those eyes are always there. I can't get away, especially from Mom and Dad (notice, capitalized). I hope that makes sense...Thanks again, everyone. ~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Thanks for the explanation, Carly. It's a very well written piece that you should be extremely proud of. Keep 'em coming. ~AF~ "I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist." |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Wow this was really different, and I liked it alot. Definitely something that I enjoyed. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
I love the uniqueness of your format here! Nice Manet quote. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
CarlAy!!!! ooo this was sooooooo neatOish. *hugs* loves ya muchs hunnAy i wanna c mores  tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
One of the greatest sensations is to see someone mature. You grown so much since i met you a year ago... Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Thanks everybody!! And Alex man...thanks. That's huge.. ~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
||
|
Tears_of_a_Phoenix New Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 4Ballarat, Vic |
Wow, Truly brilliant stuff Carly! Well done, i especially love the format Cheers - Conan |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
yay..i enjoyed this quiet a lot carly...well done on the format...i wouldnt be unique in saying its unique..but yeah its unique and i loved the way it was written...well done!
|
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
