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Teen Poetry #4
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princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-03-31 04:56 AM


princess sarah,
with her long golden hair,
deep sparkly blue eyes,
and a nice sweet smile.

princess sarah,
with her sweet long smile,
caring nature,
and sweet soft words.

princess sarah,
with a beautiful voice,
smart princess sarah,

deep down inside,
her heart is in pieces,
her life is tattered,
and her heart is torn.

© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved
Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
1 posted 2001-03-31 04:59 AM


Wow, thats uh...really sad. I'm sorry your feeling that way. I don't want to say I know how you feel because I can't, but it does sound familiar. I hope things get better. As for the actual poem the positive then negative way you wrote the poem is great. Something that almost always seems to work in poetry.

>¶Øʆ<

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-31 05:46 AM


Good job on this Sarah!  You communicated the feelings you have wonderfully.  I love the way you put this whole thing together, with the "Princess Sarah" at the start of each stanza.  
Well done.
~Allan

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-31-2001).]

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-31 12:52 PM


I'll go ahead and reply to this before it's closed.
This is a very sad poem.  If you really feel this way, then maybe talking to a professional might help because those feelings can be very destructive.  
As for the poem, good job, I like the repetition at the beginning of each line.  Nicely done.
Stay away from posting more than 3 in one day in the future.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
4 posted 2001-04-01 11:42 AM


I thought this was excellent especially the way you put your screen name at the beginning of each stanza. Keep posting.

" War is peace,
Freedom is Slavery,
Ignorance is strength" - George Orwell "1984"

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-01 10:59 PM


I thought this was quite sad. I liked it and all, but wow it was sad. I hope all gets well for you soon.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-04-09 10:41 PM


You've given your heart out on this poem.  Quite a sad poem and i hope things do wrok out for you.  Hope you're feeling better

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne
7 posted 2001-04-14 02:10 AM



princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne
8 posted 2001-04-14 02:10 AM



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