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Teen Poetry #4
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princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-03-31 04:31 AM


Nobody knows how I feel
how I want to hide,
I lay awake each night
trembling inside.
My heart is calling you
hoping for an answer,
no reply is returned
my eyes turn into a blur.
My heart is like a jigsaw puzzle
all torn apart,
waiting to get put together
please, open up your heart.
Just being around you
makes me die inside,
wanting to be closer and more true
your feeling, please confide.
Tell me what's going on
in the passages of your heart,
Please
only one word will start.

© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2001-03-31 11:57 AM


wow! your work is very fresh. i thought this poem reminded me of feelings we have when were angry or sad. hope to see more!
regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-31 12:20 PM


"Nobody knows how I feel
how I want to hide,
I lay awake each night
trembling inside."
This is a great piece of work.  Those first 4 lines hit home..
The only suggestion I have is the last 2 lines could flow easier.
Good job.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-01 01:18 PM


I thought this was very well written.
You are a wonderful poet

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-04-01 05:15 PM


all your poems r really great i love the way u write  
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-04-06 11:53 PM


You expressed yourself really well.
Youo have penned such emotions
great job
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Low Man's Lyric
Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236
In a dream
6 posted 2001-04-07 12:07 PM


Great poem, I know exactly how you feel from reading your poem.

"It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" ~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
7 posted 2001-04-07 12:33 PM


This is a great poem, possibly the best poem by you i've read.  this was very powerful writing, keep up the good work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

princess^sarah
Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131
melbourne
8 posted 2001-04-14 02:15 AM



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