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Teen Poetry #4
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Zombie Man
Member
since 1999-06-22
Posts 52
Va

0 posted 2001-03-31 12:29 PM


The sun was gone this morning.
Not a stray of light in the sky.
And I was suspicious.
And wondering was it me.
God knows my life isn't right.
Can I change this problem that holds me down?
Will someone help me?
But right now I just need to feel some love form you.

Why must I be this way?
It isn't my fault the sky turned gray.
Yes, I was betrayed by my own love.
My heart is weak.
Oh well, I'm just one of the fragile.

The sins of my life haunt me.
Your love was my shield.
And you...you were my savior.
Why did you walk away form me that day?!?
What did I do?
I swear that I'll win your heart back once again.
For always and ever...

Poetry is not just words on paper that may rhyme, but words that are from your heart expressing yourself for others to see from your eyes.

© Copyright 2001 Michael Cheeseman II - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-31 05:36 AM


A lot of true passion and ambition in this poem.  I think you did a pretty good job on it altogether.  
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it.  ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
2 posted 2001-03-31 11:38 AM


I really liked it. good work. lots of power behind those words.
regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-31 12:41 PM


This is a really good poem.  I think everyone asks themselves those questions from time to time.  I really likes the opening on this poem.  It was interesting.  Very nice job.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-01 06:49 PM


I thought you did rather well on this poem. One of my favs by you!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2001-04-01 08:44 PM


  I'll ditto their comments. Nice job.
  ~Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-04-09 05:08 PM


a lot of people have so much longing lately
your did well on this piece
hoep you do share more
thanks for the read

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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