navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » I can’t stay in a world without your love
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic I can’t stay in a world without your love Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-03-30 06:38 PM


I’ll be home as soon as I can
I’ll be back to hold your hand
Where ever I am you’re all I’ll be I think of
Cause nothing makes me feel this way besides your love

Standing in a world without you
In a world where I can’t touch
In a world where my lips can’t say how much
I long to hold you cause there’s no one like you
And I can’t stay In a world without your love

I’ll be fighting till the very end
I’ll be saying everything all over again
I am tempted by the waters the haven the sky
I’ll never take a step without seeing your face without a smile

Sitting in a world without you
In a world where there’s no warm
In a world where I can’t feel your loving arms
Just holding me so close cause there’s no soul like yours
And I can’t stay in a world without your love


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-31 05:22 AM


Great job on this one!  I loved the repitition of the last line in the second stanza.  Excellent work!  The best I have seen from you, without a doubt.
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it.  ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
2 posted 2001-03-31 11:49 AM


wow! this was so amazing. your work is very inertsting and real. its a pleasure to be able to read it.

regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-31 12:32 PM


This is one of my favorites from you so far.  Very nicely done.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-01 06:19 PM


Nicely done! You've expressed your desire for this long to be with you very well.
I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-04-09 11:34 AM


that's really such a nice and sweet poem

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-04-09 03:11 PM


i agree that this is one of the best poems that i've read by you.  excellent work, keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2001-04-09 05:58 PM


Great job on this poem, I like it a lot.  I like the title too

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"  
Unknown
Ever tried the Teen Explorer Forum?

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » I can’t stay in a world without your love

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary