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Teen Poetry #4
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LoneWolf
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-03-30 12:45 PM


The Dance

The dance of life that fills their vains
The only one that undoes their souls chains
Back and forth their twirl about
Each giving forth a silent shout

The release of their very being
Put forth in this one effort of achieving
Moving like each step was their last
Each motion bringing up a shattered memory of the past

They are one, moving together like the tides
Yet they move apart with great strides
they see nothing, they have no thought
They know this is all that is sought

They know neither pain nor glory
Nor do they seek to be told in story
As they clash like sea against the shore
One’s blade strikes true as the other ceases to breath once more

One to fast one to slow
As is dealt the final blow
So ends this dance which gave them life
Though in the end it was the dance of death which brought them strife

© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-30 04:56 AM


Not a bad job here!  I liked how the lines lengthened towards the end of each stanza, quite original.
Well done!
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it.  ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

DancinQueen
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since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
2 posted 2001-03-30 10:27 AM


wonderful wonderful wonderful! i liked this ALOT...to the library. keep posting i like your work and I do believe this is the first ive read of it..but neways, great job


*dq

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-03-30 01:14 PM


This is the first your your work that i've read but i really enjoyed it.  i hope you keep writing and posting.
Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-03-31 03:24 PM


*Applauds*
Great work, LoneWolf!  
I can't wait to see more from you..

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

5 posted 2001-03-31 03:57 PM


Wow... a very thought-provoking piece. It reminds me of love, the dance that brought them life and the dance that brought them strife... I'm probably way off, though. Anyway, good piece. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-31 04:52 PM


WHAM!!!
I love it
That's all I have to say  
keep posting

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-01 09:27 PM


Nicely done here. I really like this piece. The thoughts are deep. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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