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Passions in Poetry

Ms. Doormat

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Fading Away
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since 03-14-2001
Posts 4302
Lynchburg, Virginia


0 posted 03-28-2001 09:18 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Fading Away

Here's a quick one I wrote today, I don't like this one, but I figured I would see what other people would say about it.
--------------------------------------------------

Written words on a wall long forgotten,
washed away by the tide in your eyes,
and never again seen by the storm in mine.
Comfortably situated in your conversation,
I am your doormat,
never blessed with the gift of your bare feet.
Just perfectly polished shoes.
You love to see the word, welcome
Printed on me when you come home alone.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved
Ina
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since 10-09-2000
Posts 1331
Quebec, Canada


1 posted 03-28-2001 09:20 PM       View Profile for Ina   Email Ina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ina

i hope you dont think your a door mat. The poem was actually very good i enjoyed it.
Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Linc
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 705
The Backstreet Boy


2 posted 03-28-2001 10:07 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

     ULI

  -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

banburycross
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since 03-27-2001
Posts 1087
viginia


3 posted 03-29-2001 01:43 PM       View Profile for banburycross   Email banburycross   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for banburycross

Hey love, i actually liked this poem a lot.  it flows well and says a great deal in very few words.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

fractal007
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since 06-01-2000
Posts 2032


4 posted 03-29-2001 02:18 PM       View Profile for fractal007   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fractal007

Impressive.  Does the doormat represent something?  LOL, when I first clicked on this poem I thought it was going to be a critique of patriarchy or something like that, lol.  I think this was a good poem.  The last line seemed a little iffy to me though.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Marshalzu
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Lurking


5 posted 03-29-2001 03:47 PM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

I thought this was really good especially it being a quick one and all.
Zu

" War is peace,
Freedom is Slavery,
Ignorance is strength" - George Orwell "1984"

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy


6 posted 03-29-2001 09:40 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

    Whats with this "hey love" thing ban... ????

   -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
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7 posted 03-29-2001 11:52 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

hehe lol!  
Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg


8 posted 03-30-2001 04:54 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Hey Love.  *stares at Linc*

I think you did a pretty good job on this poem.  The way you described yourself as a doormat, you pieced together the poem very well in its simplicity.
~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it.  ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy


9 posted 03-30-2001 05:46 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

okay now I cant help...how many "loves" do you have now your first poems it was neokrew with "hey babe" then Ban... with "Hey love" and now Allen with "Hey love"   come on now what is your trick you have them on ""lock""  ( ULI ) hehehe
    -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

cherish
Member Ascendant
since 03-25-2001
Posts 6045
swimming in fairy floss.......


10 posted 03-31-2001 02:09 AM       View Profile for cherish   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherish

i thought that this poem was great..i loved the bit:
"Comfortably situated in your conversation,"
it really conjures up images of being "used" much like the doormat...
i really hope you dont feel like that.

AngelShell
Senior Member
since 03-01-2000
Posts 526
not heaven nor hell so...


11 posted 03-31-2001 03:02 AM       View Profile for AngelShell   Email AngelShell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AngelShell

I don't know if this is just a show of my need to be need if you like, but I don't believe that the image of the door matt was a total negative image.  Sure, she conveyed the idea of being used, but there was just something about it that gave off "warm" energy if you like.  Like I said, it may just be my need to be loved talking.
Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


12 posted 04-01-2001 01:11 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

I think you did amazing on this one. Very very ogriginal. I really enjoyed this!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Twilight Zone


13 posted 04-06-2001 11:18 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

I think you did a really good job.  Why a doormat though?  Makes me think

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


14 posted 12-11-2001 10:55 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

*thinks*

Yes this is going to need to go into the library. There is more to it than what I'm seeing here. I want to know everything about it!!  

~AF~

"Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier

 
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