untitled...you can choose - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-03-28 09:03 PM

quiet dark.....

Black bridges built in a world of pain
marble columns crumbling with each stroke
of red waves, tides pulling emotions down
deeper
Spectators gather round filling the water
drowning in their emotions
fighting againts their hearts
dragging themsleves deeper and deeper
the air escaping through small wounds
carved into their bodies
burning the pain away
letting all the hurt escape them
Staring the anger away from dying eyes
grinding love to a powder
trying to understand the existenance
of your soul
filling an empty void full with questions
waitng, wanting impossible answers
grinning at the thought of confusion
walking against the flow of life
returning to a world of nothingness
a world of just grey.

Regina

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-28 11:47 PM

Yeowch...

This is very powerful. I've been missing your work around here, Regina. It's great to see you around again!
Your poetry never ceases to amaze me... I love how you created the idea of "spectators."
Great job!

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-29 12:24 PM

Oh and the title would be "Black Bridges," if I had to title it.

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

3 posted 2001-03-29 11:52 AM

Regina, Awesome as always. I like Allan's idea for a title. I also would like it called "A World of Grey". It's good to see something from you, I hope everything is going OK.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-03-30 10:47 AM

Regina this would have to be one of your best pieces. The entire theme was simply outstanding.

This was very cool:
"filling an empty void full with questions
waitng, wanting impossible answers
grinning at the thought of confusion
walking against the flow of life"

Thanks for a terrific read.

~AF~

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light.
~ Joaquin Miller ~

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-03-30 01:26 PM

This was a very powerful poem and i like keoni's suggestion as far as a title is concerned. excellent, excellent work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-03-31 03:32 PM

This is a good poem. If I had to choose a title between the two suggestions, I would go with Allan's. Nice job.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-04-01 09:03 PM

WOw!!!! I really really liked this one Regi!
Awesome poem. I truly enjoyed this!
WOwish.....one of my favs by you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-04-09 05:25 PM

didn't know you had it in you Ina
this is a great piece
hope you come up with more

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.