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Teen Poetry #4
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in a perfect world
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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in a perfect world |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
In a perfect world, Children aren’t killing other kids Fathers aren’t hitting their children Moms aren’t killing themselves Families eat together Daughters aren’t pregnant Brothers aren’t drug addicts Fathers are loyal to their wives Mothers love their children Everyone has a friend to talk to Dads aren’t drunks Moms don’t sell their bodies Girls aren’t raped Boys aren’t fathers In a perfect world, I can only try my best to make It exist in my own life, And for those I love "Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist |
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| © Copyright 2001 emptyness - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I really thouhght this poem was amazing. The whole concept was real. although there can never be a perfect world....umm yeah regina libary piece |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
In a perfect world, police officers are unemployed, there are no challenges, there is no pain, there is only lazy people. Why would we want life without challenges? That's cheating! Oh and... don't want pregnant daughters or underage fathers? Use a condom! ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this perfect world u put in that poem was a great example we should be tryin 2 achevive we got 2 many probs ion this world alone but no 1 seems 2 takes steps 4 peace great poem u wrote keep writing? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Why would you honestly want a perfect world? How boring would this place be if everyone was good and no one was being out of place or females becoming pregnant at 16 years of age? The ideas of perfection that you have stated in this piece are very true to the way that many people would like to see and for that, I commend you. Thanks for the read. ~AF~ Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
An ideal, however unattainable, is, and always will be, a worthy goal to set our sights on. Always try anyway, and be satisfied with knowing, you put forth your best effort, one person at a time. Life is too short to accept anything less. Exercise "the power of one". "The poet is the priest of the invisible." Wallace Stevens [This message has been edited by coyote (edited 03-31-2001).] |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I think it's kind of funny how everyone gets all philisophical about this. I'm sure she/he didn't even mean a virtually perfect world, but instead a world where we do the best we can and it shows. Sounds familiar now doesn't it? Anyway, nice poem emptyness.  I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. :) |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this one, emptyness. Another great read.. I disagree with coyote. I think that sometimes perfection can be a very unhealthy goal. It can be destructive even... Anyway, thank you for the read. And keep posting. I look forward to reading more from you. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
All these things that you say are true, but I love the attitude that you have! The only way that things are going to change is if we take it upon ourselves to try to change it, one day at a time. When you think about this, however, don't forget all the wonderful things that still exist in our world! They will always outweigh the bad. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
overly sterotyped yes...but a good ( and heart hitting ) read.. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was ok. I felt like some things were kind of confused here. Not on my part, but on yours. I mean, in the end you say that your perfect world is for the ones you love and so on. Yet if it were a perfect world, then wouldn't you love everybody?  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Your descriptions are the resons why we long for such perfection. Without them, we wouldn't even know the difference and life would'nt be as exciting Great write"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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