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Teen Poetry #4
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AngelShell
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since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

0 posted 2001-03-28 04:10 AM


Anger inside, a thousand suns,
Burning forth like rain drops
On a cold steel roof.

Rising falling,
To the beat of your own drum,
Carelessly wasteful of emotions,
Feelings.

Blue blood high,
My own red dull,
Pierce my veins,
Add in the die.

To be like you,
Or to be like me,
A question that’s not
But more of an answer,
A realization,
A dream,
But not reality.



© Copyright 2001 Michelle - All Rights Reserved
katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
1 posted 2001-03-28 04:57 AM


This is awesome!! i really liked the last stanza (no idea how to spell that, maybe just pay attention in english once in a while).
keep it up!
~katie~

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-28 04:01 PM


Very well done.  You had a lot of great points and content to this.  
You put it together quite nicely.  I'm impressed.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind.  For I can only see out of my own.  ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-28 04:30 PM


Nicely done!  I liked this a lot.  It's very emotion-filled.  Great job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-01 12:49 PM


Nicely done......you vented well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
5 posted 2001-04-01 01:48 AM


thanks, venting is what I do best, that and *****ing, but most of the time they're the same thing ;)

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-04-01 10:28 PM


I thgoutht his poem was one of your deeper ones and i truly enjoyed that. I think the title is a bit tricky though because it kinda takes away from the poem in my eyes. Keep it the same, but i felt it took a bit away from the deepness of the poem. Well not really, i just felt like it didn't fit I guess.
Anyhow, I found the poem to be one of your better ones and I liked it a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
7 posted 2001-04-06 12:55 PM


Thanks Dopey.
It means a lot

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-04-10 06:41 PM


Angel Angel Angel
such short crisp lines
I've more than impressed
Never thought you were this good
very enjoyable read indeed
~*standing ovation*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
9 posted 2001-04-10 09:01 PM


This is one of my favorites from you, i really like this piece.  the flow was good and the emotions, excellent.  keep posting your work

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2001-04-10 09:07 PM



AngelShell-
   Wow!!!  Well done!  
   You've done a great job on this.
   I really like it.  
   Keep it up.  

   smiles,
   ~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

11 posted 2001-04-10 09:11 PM


michelle it was really nicely written
i truly enjoyed this write from you keep writing

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