Stef's Song (one of my band's sappy songs)

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Teen Poetry #4

Stef's Song (one of my band's sappy songs)

Ricky
Junior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 28
West Virginia, USA

0 posted 2001-03-26 11:19 PM

A long time ago you brought us to an end,
I messed everything up but you're still my friend,
I still look into your eyes and miss you so,
And before I get to tell you, you have to go,

(chorus)
Won't you please listen to me,
I miss you so much,
I get so happy,
When we accidently touch,
(end chorus)

A long time ago you brought us to an end,
You have someone new, who's a way better boyfriend,
I see you with him when he tells you he loves you so,
The sight is too much, I'm sorry I have to go,

(chorus)
Won't you please listen to me,
I miss you so much,
I get so happy,
When we accidently touch,
(end chorus)

A long time ago you brought us to an end,
But now, girl, you are my very best friend.

As the title says, this is one of my band's emo(tional) songs. I wrote it and I sing it. This is the eddited version of the song. You can let your imagination run and problem find where the editted parts are.

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

1 posted 2001-03-27 04:58 AM

I liked this, it was really good.
I really want to start some kind of band up at school, but the only base player is a stuck up snob with an over inflated oppinion of herself.

But keep up the great writing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-27 03:14 PM

The song was written just fine and I liked it. It's pretty straight to the point when it comes to the style it was written in. Not my fav, but nice.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-03-27 04:20 PM

I'm not a good one to judge a song, but I really like the feelings you convey here. Thanks for sharing!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

4 posted 2001-03-27 05:22 PM

This was a nice song. I usually write in song format, and I like a little longer of a verse. Besides that, I thought it was good.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-28 04:45 PM

Great song! I loved it... Nicely done here.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

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