»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Pain Love Hate Forgiveness
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Pain Love Hate Forgiveness |
|
|
Empty tears Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64 |
Pain A knot in my stomach Love A tear in my heart Hate A pain in my head Forgiveness A brand new start Pain The worst feeling on earth Love The most binding tie Hate An evil wish Forgiveness Giving up the right to revenge thats mine |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Brittany Mcpeak - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This poem has a lot of emotion tied into it and that's always good. Nice job and keep posting. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Yeah, emotion is very good, I loved it! No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
||
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Ooh this was well wow... So much emotion yet so few words... I really enjoyed it thanks for sharing. ANdrew " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
||
|
HappyPretender Junior Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 38Prince George, VA |
I really like this poem. Interesting format. Keep writing. This is simple and sweet. Very good! <3~*Rachael*~<3 |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was a very good poem, but at the very very very end you break off the flow by having a line with a lot more syllables than the others. This kinda breaks what you started. I felt that kinda killed the ending a bit. Nicely done though.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Silver Butterfly Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42Between here and the end |
Aww! That's beautiful! Probably the best one yet. No critiques for once. I'm so proud!!! Ciao. Debby |
||
|
Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM WHOA!!! This was AWSOME!!! It talked about alot of emotions that are hard to express(normally). Keep Writing!!! ~Tam Those girls on TV don't know that being 36-24-36 doesn't mean a thing unless you got the face to back it up |
||
|
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, This is a great poem. I liked it a lot keep it up. I have noticed the amount of people that read your work is not that great for a poet of your ability. My suggestion to you (not that you need my suggestion but) would be to reply to more people’s poem and check theirs out and your dedicated readers will grow. Until your next wonderful poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
||
|
silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
I really really like this one! I don't know what to that hasn't already been said.. so keep it up, and I hope you post more!  *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. this is powerful. You did a nice job. Keep sharing. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
||
|
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Wow, this was really good. I loved it. especially the last line about forgiveness. Very powerful. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I happened to like the change in the end... it was unexpected, and suited what I was reading. I'll agree with Linc, he's a smart guy. Go and reply a few times, I used to be quite the proficient replier myself but I did trail off a bit... so here's me catching up. Aside from this, I did enjoy the poem a lot. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
