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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-23 10:25 PM


Stingy

Disenchanted frugality
Expenses so elegantly
To hold such wealth a miser
You your own soul's despiser
Disenchanted heartache
How long before you break
So careful with spending
All this love you're lending
Not a piece given nor saved for me
Does gold last another century
Your gift both timeless and priceless
I will never ever possess
It is true what I fear
You'll never share your sphere
Disenchanted fairy tale
Prince Charming a holy grail
To hold all your wealth such an old miser
Completely your's your own soul's despiser

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-24 08:45 AM


Oh this is good, I love the repeating of the beginning int he end!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-24 10:18 AM


"To hold all your wealth such an old miser
Completely your's your own soul's despiser"

Very nice... beautiful poem. I liked the rhyme scheme. Great job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-24 01:23 PM


Yes, good job as usual, Ozz. I thought this had a different style to it, but you pulled it off.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-03-25 02:36 PM


Nicely done here. You write so well. The ending was the best part.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-04-01 06:19 PM


Your vocabulary is impressive too.  Such a way with words. keep sharing and thanks for the read

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-04-01 06:31 PM


I was really impressed with the choice of words and the flow of this piece.  keep up the good work.
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