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Squall Adrift
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Squall Adrift |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia 
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Squall Adrift I'm drifting away in this massive sea Why won't you throw my rope to me And let me board your vessel Why should you shut me out When you lock yourself in? I'm somebody you can love I've been starved out here for so long This ocean deprived of marine life Mermaid of the briny arena Wherefore is you home on land Where liers dwell And murderers hide. To be safer with me Alone Out on my sea Now you dropped the anchor to keep yourself stable I can't blame you You seem able to withstand the gales Can my presence jar the boat too much Or will it sink Where we'll both be lost forever The storm is getting closer Don't I matter too? Please you won't let me up I can feel the storm on my back It crashes into me and I sink Forever lost beneath your doubt. I'm back in my spirit of vengeance You are still floating in your paltry sea Your notification leaves your justification Without good cause To pummel me under the waves Why are you so selfish How can I respect you You turned down this love I have to give Because you are too far from shore I hope I hang above your head As long as you live Until you are dead To hurt you As you hurt me Is all I want All I ever wanted was justice. --------------------------------------- Yeah yeah yeah. I know kinda "dark", but it was one of those days where you want people to think you are insane.  "The heart can think of no devotion |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yeah! Vengeance RULES!    haha.... okay, maybe not.....  Great job on this one. It had an interesting layout to it, and the theme was incredible. Another fine job! and NOW I'm going to bed!  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Wow, what a great metaphore! The symbols, all of it! they're just fantastic! Thanks for posting it! "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
If this person has done this to you, I recommend hunting them down and getting your revenge. Er…on second thoughts just quietly stalk them. Your dark pieces are sensational. Very deep and meaningful with excellent imagery. Well done. ~AF~ "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, this is a very dark one, but very meaningful. I liked this a lot. Keep sharing. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great poem here. I know how you feel when you say that it was one of those days that you wanted people to think you were insane. When I write like that I truly do go insane though. I oughta show you guys some of that stuff.....quite interesting. I thought you did very well on this one fozzy.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yes, good symbolism, not too much, not too little. The title was even cool too Nice job on the poem....and insane can be good! "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Vengeance is never a good option to take. Why even put yourself on the same level as the person who has intentionally hurt you. Forgiveness makes you a better person. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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