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Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-03-22 09:08 PM

So many words
and yet so little flavor,--
I beg you, cease to write,
and read!
I walk on down the staircase,--
there, my neighbor,
in haste, with passion,
stains another sheet.
You, poets, self-proclaimed
in small apartments,
I beg of you,
put down you pen and try
to fall in love, to live,
and see what happens,--
perhaps the stubborn Muse
will then comply.
There’s life in you,--
your veins turn blue and bulge...
they’re ready to explode
and in the act,
spill drops of ink...
I hate to sit and watch
this form of art
become an artifact.

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 03-22-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-03-23 07:57 AM

Wow ... A very good message here. I happen to fully agree with you! And I would like to think I write what I'm feeling, but sometimes I snthesize things to write just for the sake of writing. Very cool poem though! Like all your work

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-03-23 08:02 AM

Good but no where near your best.

The theme itself is a good one to pick. I believe you could really expand on this and make it a master piece. Give it a try and amaze us further.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

3 posted 2001-03-23 08:21 AM

Hi Master,

"Superb" so very much enjoyed, you have much talent in your pen, keep on,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-03-23 10:27 AM

I like this a lot. The message is a very good one! Great job, here.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-03-23 03:02 PM

You write so well. I truly enjoy every single one of the poems you post up in the teen forum. Your talent is amazing and well appreciated.
Very well done here!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

6 posted 2001-03-23 05:05 PM

I really enjoyed this piece. I love the flow that it has, and the content is total truth! Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-03-30 04:22 PM

You did good Master, but I believe it not to be your best. For some reason, I feel like it's lacking something....Let's put it this way, it lack that "wham" feeling

thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

8 posted 2001-03-30 05:10 PM

the message is certainly one that all poets should keep in mind. i liked this a lot.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

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