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Teen Poetry #4
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WaitN4AnAngel
Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 37
I wish I knew where I was...

0 posted 2001-03-22 09:38 AM


Knowing you cant help
Knowing I cant stop
Having no control
Realizing I dont care
Drawing away from everyone
Including my best friends
My world is being sucked away
And I'm left in an endless black hole

This is the life I wake up to each day
Empty, pointless, yet somehow promising
Promising that tomorrow I will wake
To this same life...

No surprises, just more emptiness
More problems, more pain
In my own little world I wander
Looking for an answer that I wont find
To the question that boggles my mind...


Why???

*Me*

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
*A smile is a curve that straightens out a lot of things*

© Copyright 2001 Miranda Johnson - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-03-22 01:49 PM


I really liked this poem. It's going in my library. I don't know if you are really fighting with these problems, but I know where you are coming from. Life just sometimes leaves you wondering WHY? What's the point? Hope things go better.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-22 01:53 PM


This is a really good poem. It shows a lot of emotion. It looks like things are hard for you right now, so good luck with these things in the future. Just stay strong, and know that everyone battles with these questions too. Good job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-03-22 05:52 PM


This is a well-written piece. We all ask ourselves why, but if you take a moment to look at all the beauty that surrounds us, that answer is easily answered. Sometimes it's hard to see past the hate and anger of this world, but the beauty is always there if you look hard enough. Keep looking, my friend. God bless!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

luvnkris
Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 144
Perth, Australia
4 posted 2001-03-22 09:10 PM



i'm sorry things are like this for you at the moment. but don't worry things will get better, i have a kind of policy that in life its usually a peak then a plummet then peak, etc...
so don't stress ur peak will be soon enough!
Luv Jo
xoxo
ps. keep ya head up!

* never live a second without being grateful for all you have around you*



Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-03-22 09:49 PM


Yes, if we look around at the things we have, the beauty that DOES exist, then, as Lovebug so eloquently stated, "that answer is easily answered."
But we all know what she meant.
Good job. Ending on a single word in the poem lays a lot to it. But the word you used has a lot of power.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-03-23 02:04 PM


This was really well written! I liked this one a lot. I do think you can get better though. there is still hope and you shouldn't lose it. Good luck!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-03-28 07:14 PM


very well written
i do believe though, that if you incorporate other styles to what you have now, you'll be awesome at it.
Hope things are better for you now

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
8 posted 2001-03-28 08:52 PM


I liked your poem, it was quiet good. Thats all i got to say.
Regina

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