Tired - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-21 09:54 PM

Tired

I'm tired
Too exhausted to listen
Too worn out to respond
Everything takes time
When you are t i r e d
Daily grind quickly tires
When there are no new fires
Beneath my bellows
Upon a world
Of somber yellows
Melancholy
So ordinary and small
I lie to myself
I'm not tired at all!
This facade to escape
For my resemblance of privacy
Sleep is the greatest key
To keep what is me to me
So no one else can see
My mind when it is free.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-21 10:14 PM

Very cool. I didn't expect the twist... "I'm not tired at all!"
Haha... caught me by surprise.

Great job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-21 11:07 PM

Nicely done. Not my fav. by you, but not the worst.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-03-22 09:12 AM

That was an unexpected twist, but really added to the poem. I like this a lot. very nicely done!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-03-29 06:44 PM

You did really good though I wasn't much for the rhyming in the end. Not that big of a deal though. keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.