Watching Time Part 1 - pipTalk Forums

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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-03-21 02:22 PM

I used to watch the time go by,
the seconds to minutes,
the minutes to hours,
the hours to days,
the days to weeks,
the weeks to months,
and the months to years.

I used to watch trees die,
the leaves turn colors,
and fall off of the branches,
and onto the ground,
to be crumpled and forgotten,
to live and then die,
but eventually be reborn.

I used to watch my life go by,
the precious memories,
the fun times we had,
watch them go by,
and pass me by,
and drift away,
and never ever come back.

Watching time,
was all I knew how to do,
untill the day,
you changed all of that,
untill you changed me,
untill you changed life,
untill life became worth while.

***
There's more, but I figured I'd give you all a break. Plus, I'm gonna write a new story!

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-03-21 02:59 PM

Wonderful poem Allysa! I really liked this one!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-21 05:20 PM

Wow... I felt that this would be the kind of poem I could keep reading for a very long time. I insist that you post the second part, or at least edit it into this thread.
Because this is a very good job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2001-03-22 08:05 AM

Thanks you two! I know I can always count on the two of you! I'll post part two as soon as I find it. It's in my notebook somewhere.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.

Life is what happens when you're making ot

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-03-22 09:28 AM

WOW! I like this a lot! I love the way each stanza worked in a cycle... thank you very much for the read. This is very well written!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2001-03-23 08:44 AM

For some strange reason I replied to the second bit but didn't see the first one. I'm a dumbass.

This is really hypnotising. The description of the leaves falling off the tree had me.

I love it, Allysa.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

WaitN4AnAngel
Junior Member

since 2001-03-08

Posts 37
I wish I knew where I was...

6 posted 2001-03-23 09:23 AM

Come on!! Post the rest!! This poem is really good. Really makes me think about time wasted and stuff, even if that wasnt the point of the poem. I may have just interpreted it different. Thanks for the read!

*Me*

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
*A smile is a curve that straightens out a lot of things*

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

7 posted 2001-03-23 04:07 PM

OOohhhhhhhhhhhh....yes. I really enjoyed this one...very very much...straightforward, but thought provoking....big words hehe...nice work here...
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

8 posted 2001-03-23 06:25 PM

Yes yes, nicely done, I like how it flows awesomely

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
"Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it."
BothUnknown

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-03-30 04:49 PM

That was your best
Wow!!!
Never though you had it in you

Marvelous Allysa

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

10 posted 2001-03-30 04:59 PM

This is absolutely beautiful. that's all i can say about this poem.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

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