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Teen Poetry #4
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fractal007
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since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2001-03-21 04:53 AM


The Child

Wandering through old monuments
Not knowing their names or stories
Skipping along cracked ledges
Creating worlds within lorries

I'm a kid; I don't know better
I see fun, not danger or death
A new sensation a strange thing
On the back of my neck, warm breath

The Cat

Such a fun and furry creature
Gazing at me blankly purring
The thing is oddly alluring
Harmless innocent still meow

I reach out my hand to touch it
Fur is so soft, the cat so still
My finger cracks through its soft skull
Clacking cockroaches crawl from brains

The Genisis

Running away from the relics
Answering the call of mother
Her mournful red eye peers at her
"I told you never to run off!"

"But mother! They're here, it's now time!"
Great city of steel, shelter cold
Safe and sound now ready to mold
The future sweet and the past death....

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Posts 3502
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1 posted 2001-03-21 10:01 AM


Ohh... this was VERY cool. Definitely the best of the series so far.
I liked "The Cat..." I really didn't know where you were going with that. Took me by complete surprise.
All three were magnificent, still. Very very good job.
Man... what is it with Teen #4 and our serieses lately? Well it's an excellent display of our skills, I must say.
Soon, we'll ~all~ be making a series.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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2 posted 2001-03-21 11:46 AM


This is very cool. I liked all three, they all show plenty of skill. Great job! And, I know what you mean, Allan, Teen #4 is on a role lately! Great job, frac.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-03-21 01:53 PM


Oh geesh.........this is kind of twisted. VERY VERY interesting. I like all three sections of this. The cat one freaked me out though haha. I liked it. Frac. your creative mind never ceases to amaze me.
I like this series!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

4 posted 2001-03-21 02:49 PM


Thanks all for the replies. I think I didn't do as good a job technically as I have before. The cat section was the most challenging of them all, actually, lol. I'm glad it ended up being so praised by you.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Allan Riverwood
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5 posted 2001-03-22 08:17 AM


*click* into the library.
anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-03-22 09:46 AM


Frac, do you mind coming over here and having some of that writing dust rub off on me?

This series has been as interesting as watching bugs fly into those electric zappy things. OK, bad comparison but it has been fantastic so far. Definitely up there as one of your best pieces ever.

Library piece I think.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

LoveBug
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7 posted 2001-03-22 06:24 PM


A very interesting and thought-provoking piece, my friend. Very well-written. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

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