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Teen Poetry #4
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starryeyed999
Junior Member
since 2001-03-05
Posts 35


0 posted 2001-03-21 01:27 AM



You and Her are together,
Say your're gonna last forever
I don't think you're gonna make it
Oh no, I don't think you really mean it.
You have more feelings for me
We broke up, but that doesn't mean
we aren't meant to be.
We know the couple we made
Was never here to stay.
But maybe one day,
You'll leave her for me.

Someday it'll last,
One day we can try again
But today you're wasting your time with her.
Why oh why does it hurt so bad.
I wish I never had to let you go
I wonder what things would be
If you were here with me.
Maybe you'll get a clue,
She's not good for you!

<*Lacy*>
"I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I'll get back to you."

© Copyright 2001 starryeyed999 - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-21 09:58 AM


Nice job on this poem! The message is a risky one though. Maybe show this person your poem, and see your reaction?
I thought this had a very neat theme to it. Very unusual.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-21 11:48 AM


Yes, you should give this to the person. I liked this, the style is nice. Good job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-03-21 01:35 PM


I sense a lot of jealousy within this poem. I am guessing that you wrote this to vent out a bit of what you were feeling. I know it hurts to lose somebody you love, I've been there. I hope everything gets well for you. Good luck!
I'll close the other poem of yours Untitled because it's the same poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-03-28 06:55 PM


very well expressed
i hope you're not telling him this just out of jealousy
i do agree with the reat
show him the poem, see what he says

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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