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Teen Poetry #4
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-03-20 10:15 PM



I don’t feel jealous when you smile
in his embrace,
or when your face
lights up with fervor,
eyes turn mild.
When sappy
words of love
you whisper
(alas)
to him,--
I raise the glass
and pray that you remain this happy.
And though I love you,
you are free!
The love you give him
cannot match
the love that you evoke from me.
My love is such
that lest I perish,
no outside force
could change its course.
My love, I cherish
each gaze
each smile that you cast,
my way or not.
I’m glad... I’m glad...
I’m dazed
and zealous.
I say, I love!
let him be jealous...

Check out my poetry here:


http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master


© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
1 posted 2001-03-20 10:20 PM


Your poem definitely tells a story. This is cool. I know a lot of people that need to read a poem like this.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-03-21 06:48 AM


It's a really good story, and has a powerful delivery of the message! Thanks for posting man!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-21 11:49 AM


I really like the story here... very nice job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-03-21 01:55 PM


I really like the attitude in this poem. it's one I would only dream of having. I'm one of those hot tempered kind guys that would have steam popping out of my ears if this happened to me.
Great poem!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

5 posted 2001-03-21 06:35 PM


"The love you give him
cannot match
the love that you evoke from me.
My love is such
that lest I perish,
no outside force
could change its course."

Wow! This is a beautiful description of TRUE love. I can relate to this very well. Your writing style is perfect, as usual, and this piece is going into my library. Thanks for sharing!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-29 05:56 PM


wonderful post Master
you have shown such strong will
excellent as usual
keep posting my friend

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
7 posted 2001-04-02 10:44 PM


hey, liked this one a lot. i know that feeling all to well.great job on the poem.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2001-04-02 10:53 PM


This was awesome. Great attitude I wish I could say I always had. Very nice work as usual.

~Susie

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at walls all day. Others are calle

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
9 posted 2001-04-03 08:56 AM


this is really excellent work.  i love the flow and the story that the poem tells.  keep up the good work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Words_of_Glitter
Member
since 2000-10-25
Posts 90
USA
10 posted 2001-04-03 11:07 AM


this was alike like the great 18th c. poets used to write. trul brilliant. loved the last two lines. i think it would rock if you changed it into a shakespearean sonnet! nice job!

"Do not marry the one that you can live with. Marry the one you cannot live without."

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
11 posted 2001-04-03 01:04 PM


Being not jealous is hard, it shows you are strong willed, me on the opposite i see green sometimes.
great poem.
regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

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