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Teen Poetry #4
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StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado

0 posted 2001-03-20 10:09 PM



purple skies bleeding
giving birth to clouds of red
walking rain, throwing insanity
prozac dependant citizens
spill forth pain
coming in my direction
quickly falling backwards
hope gives life
fear feeds reality
breaking pillows
busting at the seams
as clinging flowers beg
and the cynic falls...
purple skies bleeding
give birth to clouds of red
tainting my heart forever...


*this is a new form I tried today. I looked thorough all of my magazines and cut out random words and phrases that caught my eyes for one reason or another (I cut out at least 100) and put them in a bag. I mixed them up and took out about half, or close to. then I formed the words to make clauses that worked...i think the end product is quite interesting. there is a name for this form, but for the life of me i can't remember it. so if anyone knows what it is PLEASE remind me. i also would recommend this, it is very comforting and not to mention fun. i hope you all enjoyed....now why are you still reading my non-sense?? Tell me what you think!! *

"Tell me why you cry"

© Copyright 2001 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved
fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
1 posted 2001-03-20 10:15 PM


Okay. This is good. I'm sure there is a hidden message here. I would say it is definitely about negative emotions and the opposites, and an incident left an impression upon your soul. How close am I? Or was this just supposed to be gibberish? Oh well good job nonetheless. I should try that method

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
2 posted 2001-03-20 10:22 PM


wow Jess! Awesome poem here~i really like that form you used, although I have NO clue whatsoever as to what its called lol But i think I'll try it because I always find little phrases and stuff I cut out from magazines like that..so i'll try it too
Great job!!

*dq

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
3 posted 2001-03-20 10:23 PM


Well, I guess I took the most descriptive words that I could find, most of the time, your mind tend to attract to things that resemble some of your feelings. I guess these are what I was seeing when I looked around...and yes, you SHOULD try it sometime! Thanks a lot for replying. ~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
4 posted 2001-03-20 10:25 PM


Kiley, you snuck in there when I was writing you little booger!! anyways, thanks for your input! It is so much fun to do this and I truly hope you'll try it. and if you do, post it so I can see it. once again, thanks for replyin hun...~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-03-20 11:03 PM


COOL! I am trying this format! SOON.
Great job on this one!
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-03-21 12:08 PM


"walking rain, throwing insanity"

This is great! I'm curious to know the motivation behind it? Very well written.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-03-21 02:01 PM


I read the poem and thought you wrote it off the top of your head. It actually made that much sense! When I read that you just pulled out the clauses from a bag and it came out like that I thought it was pretty amazing. My luck I'd pulled out random phrases and it'd end up like:

Winter morning sheds a flake
Cat droppings fall on my leg.
Yes, I hate that lipstick fragrance!
Mom made chocolate chip cookies,
And the clouds cried murder!

Haha Ok i just made that up, but that's most likely how it'd come out.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

8 posted 2001-03-21 07:37 PM


Wow that was quite interesting. Nice job . Um...if you get a chance...could you possibly email me....if you feel like it...? Things have been...well I could talk, lol.
Bel

"And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an anorexia life"
- "Ana's Song", Silverchair

LoveBug
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Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

9 posted 2001-03-21 08:37 PM


This is an interesting experiment, and the results are wonderful! I really love how this turned out. I hope to see more of these soon!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
10 posted 2001-03-22 09:26 PM


Hey guys thanks so much for replying. I LOVE this style, I did a few others, I might post 'em, oh and this is called a dada excercise, once again, thanks so much for your responses! Best wishes ~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-03-24 09:31 PM


very intersting Jess
i'm actually pretty impressed on how this poem came about
at the same time, i'm impressed with the poem itself
maybe i should try this one day

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

UNC STAR
Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 67
Hinesville,Ga,USA
12 posted 2001-03-24 11:34 PM


Keep up the good work maybe you will start something.

What ever happens so let it happen unlees you don't want it to happen.

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
13 posted 2001-03-24 11:45 PM


Hey, wow, thats pretty cool. You gave me a good idea. Maybe it will help my writer's block. Thanks for the suggestion. I really like the poem too.

*~*Malinda*~*

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
14 posted 2001-05-26 05:16 AM


Jessica~
Girl this is so unique and so intresting! Im glad that I got to read this. I seen that you replied to a poem not to long ago so I decided to look you up! Girl when you get a chance email me or IM me I havent talked to you in ages! Great work on your poem!

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."


anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

15 posted 2001-05-26 03:24 PM


quite deep and powerful...i enjoyed this read a lot and hope to see more...keep writing... ...?

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!

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