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anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

0 posted 2001-03-19 12:56 PM

This is the first post in what seems like months. Enjoy people.

Covered in blood it lay cold in the street,
Clothes swaying gently in the breeze.
Reeking of an unsavoury smell.
The odour enchanting hells little minions.
Droplets of desire feel to the ground,
Like dead leaves off a maple tree.
Golden bullets pierce the sky
Deleting angelic images from the imagination.
Silver stars hang loosely in the corner,
Mounting a weary night.
Under careful supervision of the serene moonshine,
They reveal a devilish grin.
Exposing their rigid tips and bearing their teeth,
Entwined in the gums - skin and bones.
In the distance a faint giggling is heard,
Perhaps laughter at this lifeless corpse.

Upon the floor the blood seeped,
Through the boards polluting innocence,
Unveiling a horrid dried up mind,
And several coats of pure bitterness.
Calligraphy covered the bleak walls,
Which was created in rich dreams and fantasies.
A rustic finish in tainted spirits,
Dared to defy ecstasy and joy.
In the shadows some demons crept,
Eyes bulging and mouth salivating.
Still in the early stages of demolition,
Casing the estate of the deceased.
Their view destroyed by sightings of moonshine,
Wafting through the dreary walls.
The abrupt exit caused the stars to glare,
From the corner over the lifeless corpse.

This body heavily lay encased,
In a box of solid hopes and trance.
The ailing heart now symbolised struggle,
And details the journey of a lost battle.
Allowing emptiness to manifest,
Amidst the peacefulness of complete nothing.
The tightly shut dynasty doors were penetrated,
Allowing vile situations to occur.
Solitary taunts amused the creatures,
That still attacked the corpses' crushed soul.
Mysterious as their movements may have been,
Dancing on the grave still seemed appropriate for the unknown.
The stars and moonshine thrust mindless comments,
Wounding the crippled corpse.
In life it always suffered in silence alone.
In death pure peace would never be an option.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

[This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 03-20-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-03-19 05:27 PM

WOW!!! I LOVE THIS!!! It's so....Oh I don't know - BLEAK! haha, sorry I'm a littl too happy considering what I just read, but it's going into my library and I'm reading it daily!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-19 06:46 PM

Very dark and morbid. I liked it though Anon........hope to see more

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

3 posted 2001-03-19 06:57 PM

Hey,

Well....this is new. Truthfuly I really did not care for it as much as your others. Until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2001-03-19 07:05 PM

Well wow. Yep. Wow. I had to read this very slowly, pausing after each bit of imagery, each thought that churned in my mind...I love it when I have to do that...It's like the words take me to a whole different world...Man I love that world...Very nice, anon...
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-20 01:16 PM

Wow.. that's all I can say about this. This poem is WONDERFUL. Very beautiful... great job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2001-03-20 04:46 PM

Wow this is really good, very dark yet very enjoyable, I really enjoyed it. Thanx for sharing...
Zu

Love is a friendship caught on fire.

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

7 posted 2001-03-20 05:52 PM

Awesome!This was great. One of the best I have seen here. The detail was amazing. I really liked this one,it's definately library material.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-03-20 10:37 PM

I already told you on MSN but hey.... I'll say it again.

OUTSTANDING
You rule.  No doubt about that.
And this piece painted a picture in my mind that all the paint thinner in the world won't remove.
It's very inspiring... the scenery...
Makes me want to get up and write something.
I think I'll go do that.

Oh and title? Call it "Solid Hopes." That part of the poem seemed pretty signifigant.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-20-2001).]

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-03-28 05:31 PM

WOW!!! That's all I can say right now for I'm in awe
WOW!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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