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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-03-19 10:19 AM

There's a storm in my heart, it tears it apart
there's a shadow inside me that kills my every dream
and the pain just make me wanna scream
but all I couldn't burn was a childhood dream
of a heart fild with loneliness inside
forgotten in the past of a lonely night.

Every night I keep hearing the same old song
each time the lyrics are about all I do wrong
just want this voice outter my mind
your fake feelings giving me a hard time
cause my soul is broken in half
and now I can't even smile not a single laugh.

Every second is like an endless river of tears
a place there's no where to hide from my fears
locked inside these four walls, want to break free
cause the silence's so empty that it scares me.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-03-19 12:08 PM

Quite the sad poem!
Sorry that this is happenning to you. I think we've all been there at one point or another. Nonetheless, this was a wonderful read.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

2 posted 2001-03-19 05:09 PM

Wow..., that's powerful...I don't know what to say, I hope things are ok. I've done some dark words in my day, but this was horrific, I love it :-) really hope things are ok though

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-03-20 01:35 PM

Only 2 replies? My goodness! This is excellent! Keep it up!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

4 posted 2001-03-20 03:24 PM

This is a sad poem...but don't worry, after the night a new day will dawn, just try to stay positive, keep working towards the light.

Great poem, keep it up

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

5 posted 2001-03-20 06:30 PM

Very Nice poem. Good descriptions,good flow. But I thought that the 3rd verse was slightly too short. Otherwise it was very good.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-03-20 10:43 PM

Hmm.... not a bad job. Keep it up.
I do hope you feel better soon.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-03-28 05:46 PM

you have a way with words
a littl emore practice and youll be great
keep sharing my friend

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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