navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » My Eyes
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic My Eyes Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-18 09:25 PM


My Eyes

The other day I realize
With my dark eyes
That I cannot see
I envision what will be

But that is an illusion
Another love-dryed delusion
My eyes hide me from sin
My eyes tell me what to believe in

I cry with my eyes
They also say good-byes
Wish I could burn people
Mine eye's pointed steeple
To erect a church
With my eyes I search

No color whatsoever
My eyes black forever
My eyes not portals
Deep inside He chortles
Pleased with His trick
He created my eyes sick

Why has He cursed Me
With eyes designed to see
The horrible world around me

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-03-19 10:33 AM


Nice poem. Especially like the ending.
"Why has He cursed Me
With eyes designed to see
The horrible world around me"
Very cool, and great descriptions.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-03-19 10:45 AM


This is fantastic fozzyozzy.
The imagery that you have created here in your piece was amazing.
A particular part that stood out for me was:

"No color whatsoever
My eyes black forever
My eyes not portals
Deep inside He chortles
Pleased with His trick
He created my eyes sick"

The dark theme in this did it for me.
Wonderful and I hope to see many more.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-03-19 05:44 PM


Nicely done here fozzy. I truly enjoyed this poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
4 posted 2001-03-19 07:31 PM


Hey,

This is a great poem one of the best of your I have read keep up the great work and until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-20 01:14 PM


I agree with Linc ^ when he said this one's one of your best I've read. Great job! And Bravo on the ending! *Applauds*

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-03-20 10:17 PM


Oohh... yeah... *drool*
This is mag-ni-fi-cent. Wonderful.
You rule, Ozzy. Simple as that.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-03-26 07:50 PM


this is really good
I do believe though that what you see is up to you
And not up to Him
It's you choice....

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-03-26 11:48 PM


that was good!!!
and great poem keep writin

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 03-26-2001).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » My Eyes

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary