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Teen Poetry #4
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-03-18 07:38 PM


You past away on a lonely friday
and I didn't even get to say,
I love you, How much I really need you here.
Broke my heart into a million tears
and now I'm drowning from inside

Every hour of everyday is getting longer
and my heart starts to hunger,
can't give it, the love that it missis so much.
Can't reach out and feel your touch
wish I could hold you close

These lonely nights brings back,
the sad memories that,
I carry within' my soul
the ones I can not let go.
I feels it's time I should,
turn the page and close the book.

© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-03-19 10:27 AM


Very nice poem. Great tribute to someone you lost.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-19 10:28 AM


Aww.. this is sad. I love the ending, though. I think you might want to think about changing the title. It kind of gives away the last line. Just a suggestion... This is a great poem.. nice job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 03-19-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
3 posted 2001-03-19 02:56 PM


Ohhh, yes this is VERY sad! I don't know why it only has two replies, because the frequecy of things like this happening to people is shocking. I there have been 2 students that have died in accidents of some sort in this state alone this month. I feel fortunate I haven't been hit by it . . . twice that is.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

WaitN4AnAngel
Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 37
I wish I knew where I was...
4 posted 2001-03-19 02:59 PM


I know what its like to loose someone, by death or anything else. Poetry was a good way for me to release my feelings. Your poem was great. Thanks!

*Me*

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
*A smile is a curve that straightens out a lot of things*

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-03-19 05:28 PM


Quite sad.
Nicely done.

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
6 posted 2001-03-19 07:47 PM


Hey,

Great poem even if it was a little sad. Keep up the great work. Until your next poem or mine or whenever we talk again

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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