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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-18 04:00 PM


I realized I've been posting a LOT lately, and I apologize. I was just so excited to find a place where I could post my poetry. From now on, I'll only post one poem a day so you don't get too bored with me. Here is the one for today. I'm proud of this one because I actually follow a rhyme scheme and pentameter
-----------------------------------
So Much Too Much

Heartbreak everywhere
Too much
So much
Doesn't anyone care
Something is wrong
Heard in every song

Heartache around
Pain and such
So much
Down on the ground
Romeo and Juliet
Not like them yet

Loss wherever I see
No escaping its touch
So much
That it has grasped me
If we had a box
Love behind its locks

Everyone is crying
Too much
So much
We could be flying
Make an attempt with me
Fly together then we'll see

Mirror's reflecting
Truth too much
So much
Is spent suspecting
Lying to others
Lies between lovers

Loves now ending
Loved you so much
Too much
With messages sending
It's hard moving on
Heard in every song

Goodbye
Like the rest
Lost in the crowd
Gone without a sound.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2001-03-18 05:51 PM


You are cool. And that's a pretty kick butt compliment coming from me. So be grateful. Nice work, I think I'm gettin to like ya..Oh yeh nice sig. Go Robbie!
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-18 05:53 PM


I thank you for posting in accordance to the guidelines. It shows that you truly love this place by following the rules.
I thought this poem was great, not as good as some of the others from yesterday, but a very well written poem nonetheless.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-18 09:58 PM


Myabe I'll start the whole "one-a-day" thing tomorrow
You can't mess with inspiration

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-03-19 11:28 AM


Exactly. If you mess with inspiration, you're in trouble.

I love the great flow you have running through this. As it was just so good, it is going into my library to be read over and over again.

I await more pieces like this.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-19 11:49 AM


I loved this one! Very nice work... I love the rhyme scheme and the style. Awesome job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-24 02:33 AM


As everyone else has said, the rhyme is perfect. It's nice to know too that you're happy here in Passions. Post anytime you want, just don't exceed 3 in a day. Tell, you the truth it'll be better if you wait when your last post has gone down the line before you post again. You get more replies that way too

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
7 posted 2001-03-24 01:17 PM


Well I think it was OUTSTANDING. And yeah, follow guidelines or Lovebuggy locks up your posts.
And that's never fun.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


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