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Aware of All
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Aware of All |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: Symbolism- yes.....deep- yes......do I like it?- no way! Aware of All: Sour Blasphemy set a drift. Mind control giggles and laughs. Umbrella tree soul to lift. Avoid becoming part of mass. Setting off the final on. Your nothing is my all. A criss-crossed shattered son Commencing his first fall. Double framed mysteries. The meat hooks of powers wrath. Eternal light the boy will see In finding final path. Shedding leafs on nature ground. A smile to be simply kind. Always turn back around. Beware what mind can find.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Symbolism- NICE!  Didn't like it?- well I did, to be honest. I envy your ability to be vague about the simplest things... but the symbolism was all absorbed on my end still. Great job, Javier. I am truly impressed.  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Well I made up my own interpretations of yer symbolism, cuz I know fer shure that I was wayyy off. This was weawy weawy koo. Yes yes. Yes, it was. Yep. ~Carly "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
WHOOOOOOOOOOSH.... that's what your poem did. it went whoooooosh right OVER MY HEAD. lol i'm a blonde yes, did i get the poem-no, but do i like it anyway-yes cuz you wrote it and you don't write crap *L* just keep in mind for those who are blonde, once in a while stick with roses are red... i like them ones i understand them very well HEHEHE but good job! *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
YUP...Right over my head too !!! |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
It went so far over my head I'm not sure if it did. These are biblical allusions no? Good job. "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Beware also the truth in which the mind already knows.. Deep~ oh yeah! Did I like it~ Very much!
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Dopey, Liked this one alot. It had some symbolism that did go over my head but for the most part I got an excellent interpretation of this poem. Another great one! Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Although the poem sounded great, I'll be honest, I didn't understand it. Great job, though!! --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Totally amazing Dopes! Your symbolism was simply devine. The last stanza hit home hard. Oh and another thing, stop saying you don't like your work!! There is nothing more frustrating when a great poet writes an even greater piece and says that they don't like it. This piece just goes beyond words and you should be very proud of it. ~AF~ "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." -W. Edwards Deming [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 03-19-2001).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ok Dopey, I need some help thanks "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Before I explain I NEED to know more people want to know about it cuz i don't wanna explain with a HUGE relpy and have NOBODY read it. |
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Jellybean King Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153Jelly, Bean |
I liked this...but, please do fill us in. Here's my take on it: ========================= Sour Blasphemy set a drift. Mind control giggles and laughs. Umbrella tree soul to lift. Avoid becoming part of mass. (Breaking out of the norm...being unconventionl [border line blasphemous], holding back your laughter at peoples' reactions...rising to another level [of consciousness?]) Setting off the final on. Your nothing is my all. A criss-crossed shattered son Commencing his first fall. (Doing/thinking the opposite of what the social norm believes in [off is on, nothing is all, it's crisscrossed...you see]...likening to the fall of Man [biblical....i.e., original sin] Double framed mysteries. The meat hooks of powers wrath. Eternal light the boy will see In finding final path. (Conspiracy from the powers that be [THEY don't like non-conformity]...possible death for the enlightend boy [physical death...could mean psychological...economic...social...not sure) Shedding leafs on nature ground. A smile to be simply kind. Always turn back around. Beware what mind can find. (I think this implies cunning...things are not as they appear...deception [those who break the social rules need to be careful of consequences and appearences]) ================================== ...Anyway...not sure if this is what you were thinking, but that is what I took away from it. Enjoyable and thought provoking read! Jellybean King |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
WAY TO G0!!!!!!!!! Javier, you are soooooooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooooooo AWESOME and I know that you know it!!!!!!!!!! I envy you sooooooooooooooooooo much right now. I'm writing poems, but the minute I write them, the paper seems to dissappear. Well, ya know I love ya!!!!!!!!!! ANd you know you're awesome!! Hugs!! I'm proud of you. PS> why don't you like this? I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
JellyBean King, Wow....you amaze me with your interpretation of my poem. I appreciate your in depth peek into my work. Here's what I meant when I wrote it (do keep in mind that I write with a lot of open ends to let the reader's mind wander. I feel that works well within a poem): This whole poem has a lot of duality within it. It basically shows the dual form of the human mind to think one thing yet do another. Sour Blasphemy set a drift.= Blasphemy is defined a: A contemptuous or profane act, utterance, or writing concerning God or a sacred entity...I'm using Sour to describe the blasphemy and saying that it's being set free within the world, the mind, and so on. Mind control giggles and laughs.= I'm using the laughs and giggles as a symbolism of happiness and they seem to be controlled by a mind here, yet it's not the mind of the person who's feeling this supposed happiness. Umbrella tree soul to lift.= Umbrella ends are face down.....you take them out when it rains.....trees are a part of nature....so I'm using these two as symboles of Gloomy nature. I'm saying that we need to lift up the soul of this Umbrella tree. Avoid becoming part of mass.= I feel this is pretty explanatory. Avoid becoming part of the masses. Setting off the final on.= here you turning off the last on that you have. Meaning the last good thing within your individual mind has turned off. This line is one of the dual things I was talkin about. Your nothing is my all.= Here I say how somebody's nothing can be somebody's all. That we must appreciate it. Regardless of how many On's you've turned off....even though you might have that nothingness ....it's still something. In this case it's negative and the perspective that the "nothing is my all" is said in is by a person who wants the character to feel nothingness within his soul and conform. A criss-crossed shattered son= Bible reference to Jesus. Commencing his first fall.= He starts his first fall. Meaning he died for the masses protection, but hey.....for some of us his saving us didn't do much of anything. Double framed mysteries.= This symbolizes the complexity of the situation. How it's a problem within a problem. The meat hooks of powers wrath.= The meat hooks of power sink into our skin and pull us to where it'd like to take us. Eternal light the boy will see= Going back to Jesus, but this is mainly referring to anybody. The eternal light symbolizes truth. In finding final path.= final path is enlightenment towards how to live your life a healthy, individual way. Shedding leafs on nature ground.= Leafs are a part of nature and it's a common analogy I use that ties with truth, good, and the orignal simplistic greatness of this world. Here they are shedding, and dying. A smile to be simply kind.= This is showing a bit of hypocrisy. Always turn back around.= Here I'm saying to always watch yer back. Beware what mind can find.= This just states to beware what yer mind can find. This refers to the truth that can, at times, scare the hell out of you because it conflicts with so many of your original beliefs that you could go crazy trying to figure out which belief is real. All in All this poem is about staying away from the power of mass influence and staying true to nature, God, and self. Hope you read all this crap haha..bye I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I did read this after you replied here, but since you whined in Teen Explorer (which everyone should visit), I guess I'll bump it up so others can read you explaination "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Glad you got my hint lake  |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i had to read it couple of times but i really enjoyed this one i liked it...its one of them poems that makes u think |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Awesome work Javier! at first it went over my head...then i got most of it. your explanation helped. amazing! Regi a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Guess who's head it also when over on the first read well I liked it anyway keep it up. until your next masterpeice-- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." [This message has been edited by Linc (edited 04-08-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Thanks all.....you're very kind. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Oh wow! Great explanation! My thoughts esactly! Or not! But oh well! Great poem! I already replied! But now I'm replying to the explanation! So yeah! You're cool! Peace! ~Carly! NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
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