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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-17 11:09 PM

Deep Well

This is a well
Deep and dark
Miles into oblivion it extends
Vertical not horizontal
But for the laws of nature it follows
It can dry
Life-giving liquid without
Lacking thereof is doubt
O' to fall down a well
Worthiest of stories to tell
Can you tell my reserves run deep
So preciousness I can always keep
For my flowing intelligencia
I can run dry
It means no end not to cry
To weep between cracks and mortar
For the well is now barren
Nothing to take out
Nothing to pour in
Who is a well
This is my fascination
What lies beyond a well's
Deep dark oblivion except imagination.
-----------------------------------------
I think this one is kinda poor. What do you think?

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-18 12:12 PM

Hah! I thought it was magnificent... for some reason. The well... great idea.
Although your others were a bit better, this is still definitely a great piece.
I'll keep reading.

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-18 12:32 PM

I actually thought this was one of your better ones. Very nicely done!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-03-23 07:11 PM

I believe you did good on this one
Just lacks a little kick to it
keep writing though
I do see talent in you
Thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-03-23 08:03 PM

I liked this one. It's not one of my favorites from you, but nicely done just the same. Good job. Keep sharing...

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

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