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Teen Poetry #4
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Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-03-16 05:59 AM



Such a fragile little flower
Growing more beautiful by the hour
Even in a land of sin its presence shall not cower
Bearing pain like the thorns of a rose
It plays on the emotions to demonstrate its power

But back to a soiled hell is goes
Crushed and trampled by it’s foes
Pushed deeper and deeper by each of the blows
This Punic victory leaving there mouths sour
The wound left upon the innocent finally shows


alright I don't really know what to call this cuz I don't really know if it's symbolic or not. Like I've said alot of my poems truly are writing themselves..I'm just holding the pen.

>¶Øʆ<

© Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-16 10:07 AM


The rhyme scheme was very interesting. VERY interesting.
And the poem itself... well it could be many things. It all depends on how literally it was to be taken.
Care to help us out a bit?
~Allan


If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-03-16 10:18 AM


"Even in a land of sin its presence shall not cower"

This is beautiful.
I love the analogy used.
Very nice work

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
3 posted 2001-03-16 11:05 AM


Well, I love this, you're a fantastic poet, I love all your work!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-03-16 06:11 PM


I thought this was very very well done. I liked the scheme and the whole theme of it all. very well done!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
5 posted 2001-03-17 01:05 AM


Well the majority of my stuff is symbolic unless it has to do with blood then it's either/or. I seriously don't know what it's about the words just sometimes comes to me. And as for the rhyming scheme...I get bored easily...that is the result. Anyways thanx for the replies

>¶Øʆ<

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-20 08:45 PM


you are very talented POA
I'd like to see you write free verse on of these days
I know you'll be much better at that
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
7 posted 2001-03-20 10:07 PM


I think it is one of your best, and personally it is going into my library. As for a title, I don't know. Maybe "Petals of a Stronger Time". I have no clue. In my opinion, it is useless to ask others to name your stuff because frankly, only you know what any of it means.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

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