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Teen Poetry #4
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fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-15 10:18 PM


Yesterdays

So many houses
Which one is yours
I can see your face
Behind each of the doors

So goodbye yesterday
I'm moving on
In my own way
I know what you'll say
But say it anyway
Because I want to hear
You can't judge yourself
There are already too many people
That will label you on a shelf
Why can't things be simpler
Like yesterday
Yesterday was a guarantee
Yesterdays are anything you want them to be
Time stopped though
You're as pretty as I know
We can stand in time
As long as I can figure
Another rhyme.



© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-16 10:00 AM


Not bad. I like the other one better though.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-03-16 10:55 AM


Allan, be quiet! I like this one a lot better! Anyway, I'm still looking for your first post! so I'll respond to that one more hopefully.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
3 posted 2001-03-16 02:29 PM


I thought this was a very well writtin poem. I liked it alot. Keep it up.

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
4 posted 2001-03-16 02:39 PM


Hey,

Well I was going to say some comments on your poem but...they said everything I was going to so until your next poem

-- Linc


"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-03-16 06:15 PM


ok fraknly I'm pissed off.....

"Yesterday was a guarantee"
That line completely rocked.....now explain....why don't *I* come up with lines like that?!?!

Ok well about the poem, I thought it was pretty good, but Radio was better.
Anyhow, nicely done!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-20 07:58 PM


You did good on this one
Thanks for the read
Keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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