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Teen Poetry #4
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Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64


0 posted 2001-03-14 07:08 PM


THERE IS A STORMCLOUD
THAT HOVERS OVER MY HEAD
OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT SEE IT,
FOR THEY ARE BLINDED BY MY PLASTERED-ON SMILE
THE WINDS ATTEMPT TO HOLD ME BACK, UNTILL I GIVE IN
AND NO LONGER CHASE AFTER THE SUNSHINE
THAT IS MY DREAMS
THE RAIN WANTS TO DROWN ME
THE SAME RAIN THAT IS MY TEARS
AND THE COLD WANTS TO FREEZE ME
UNTILL I AM NUMB
SO I WILL NOT KNOW
THAT THE STORM THAT MADE THE RAIN
IS TRYING TO KILL ME
AND YET SOMETHING KEEPS ME ALIVE
AND PROTECTS ME FROM THE STORM THAT IS MY LIFE
EVEN WHEN I WISH IT WOULDNT
AND WHEN I WANT TO GIVE IN
TO THE STORM THAT IS MY LIFE
THIS SOMETHING KEEPS ME GOING
PERHAPS IT IS THE SUNSHINE
THAT IS MY DREAMS
THAT FIGHTS THE STORM
THAT IS MY LIFE

(JUST SOMETHING I JUST WROTE ON AN IMPULSE,TYPING AS I THOUGHT OF THINGS, I KNOW ITS NOT GREAT, I JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE UNEDITED THOUGHTS WITH YALL SO U CAN KNOW WHO I REALLY AM)

© Copyright 2001 Brittany Mcpeak - All Rights Reserved
Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64

1 posted 2001-03-14 07:26 PM


oops!! sorry bout the all caps thing!!
Silver Butterfly
Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42
Between here and the end
2 posted 2001-03-14 07:49 PM


Let me be the first to say, good job. Is the the poem you were telling me about earlier?

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

3 posted 2001-03-14 10:14 PM


Wow, this is great! I like the "untied thoughts" good job
Bel

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-03-15 06:56 AM


Oh wow, this is a great piece of work! And I hope the cloud gets burnt right up by the light :-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-03-15 09:12 PM


nicely done but i wouldn't have typed it out in caps......it got kind of annoying.
Anyhow, nice.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-19 06:01 PM


sorry if I'm late
I like the way you wrote this
how you relate certain things to you life in the poem
good job
thanks for the read

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
7 posted 2001-03-19 07:12 PM


Hey,

This is good ( heh all caps is bad j/k) keep up the great work and I hope you continue write I enjoy reading your work.

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
8 posted 2001-03-19 07:15 PM


*cries* Stop yelling at meeee!!! Ok yeh. Very nice, caps drive me insane, but I forgive you. Keep postin!
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-03-21 09:49 PM


This poem had so much feeling and emotion put into it...very nicely done.
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
10 posted 2001-03-22 09:22 AM


The caps made it hard to read... avoid that next time. Other than that, great poem. I enjoyed the read.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

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