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Teen Poetry #4
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Broken Wings
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Broken Wings |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa 
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Caught in your words, a trap holding my flight, their weight broke my wings, I was left without light. You stole away my only sky and then just left me, alone, to die I'll take my wings and learn to fly but in my head I'll still ask why, never did you no harm, never told you a lie, still you broke me and left me to die. Some time has passed, my wounds did heel, never knew I could feel the way I now feel. Never did let you get to me, never though I couldn't try. I needed to get back to my own lonely sky, so I took my wings and taught them to fly but in my head never stopped asking why, when I never did harm you and never told you a lie, why did you brake me and leave me to die? Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
aw this is sad.......well you were left to die but prevailed and survived.....I'm glad about that.......yours wings may not have fully mended, but they will. Good luck.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is an excellent poem. Your meter is fine, and the flow is good. I believe you followed through with the same thought excellently; that's important. Your English skills are very good. Keep up the good work. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Oh this is so sad! Not all of it, but a lot. And then ending was good. It's also a very god metaphore. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is sad... but VERY well written. Nicely done  --Marie |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
sad, but now you know that some people are just like that. I'm glad you stood back up  thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
After you're down it's hard to get back up. I'm glad that you did though. Keep flying and writing pieces like this ok. ~AF~ "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Awww this is so sad!!! Great job tho!!! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'll agree, quite sad. But well written. Great job, I am impressed. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Such a sad situtation you write about, but it's beautiful that you are able to fly on your broken wings. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
I cant STAND GUYS WHO THINK THEY CAN JUST GO AROUND AND USE KIND-HEARTED AND SYMPATHETIC GIRLS SUCH AS YOURSELF FOR THIER OWN LUSTY ADVANTAGES!! I'm SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!! |
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