navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Young Child
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Young Child Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
TrueLUV
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158
Connecticut, U.S.A.

0 posted 2001-03-13 10:25 PM


A young child born to run wild
Never thinking twice about the consequence of life
If you drink your life away your sure to pay
If you smoke your life away your bound to remain in your own reality
If you continue to play all day life will catch up to you and lay you where you stay
A young child of the ghetto is born to suffer and murder
These words are written in blood by my hands
God has seen this and turned away
So why do we
Why are we not there to help
I'll tell you why "fear"
A young child is born only to get free from such misery
Only the strong will make it and not the ones with the most cash
The ones with most cash will only continue to make there cash off the ghetto children and in the end will lay where they once stood
A young child is born and will die because of the choice he/she had made
A young child is born

© Copyright 2001 TrueLUV - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-14 06:20 AM


Oh this is good! I liked the repetition in the beginning and end.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-14 11:56 AM


Same here. This was a marvelous piece.
It's good to see more regular posts by you.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-03-14 12:02 PM


This is an absolutely excellent piece! Thank you for the great read... I can't wait to read more from you.

--Marie

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-03-14 04:40 PM


This was not as good as the others I have read recently. I didn't like this one.
I also disagreed with the fact that all rich people live off of the chlidren of the ghetto.....some people actually work hard for a living....so yea
But anyway.....hope to see more



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
5 posted 2001-03-14 08:07 PM


This was interesting... I liked the concept. I think it may have been a little weak towards the end, but nonetheless good. Keep it up!

Jenn


"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia



Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-17 06:44 PM


very interesting poem Trueluv
You have expressed your beliefs clearly
thanks for the share

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Young Child

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary