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Teen Poetry #4
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grey::tears
Junior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 19
lost within my mind

0 posted 2001-03-13 04:47 PM



i am alone
i sit here
people laugh and run outside
the door is locked
they cant come in
but i still feel so voulnerable
and parianoid
they come close and i tense
once they walk away,
i am fine
but still not quite as relaxed
the sound of their happiness stirs my rage
and yet i envy them so
is this the same way it is in my mind?
i dont know
i wish i was once of them
ignorant to the reality of life
pleased with my own density
and yet smouthered by my own cloud
let me go and play with them
a disguise
will let me into their elite club
and they will accept me as one of their own
just like in the movies
except i wont reveal myself in the end
it is quite comfortable in there
who knows that a lifetime could pass by like that
was it a waste?
to be so fake, in order to feel real
to shallow myself, in order to be considered deep
to hide myslef, so i could be alive
but was it really life
or my own version of death
in disguse?




A.K.S.
"Never fear something, just because you don't understand."

© Copyright 2001 Alex Stoyko - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-13 07:26 PM


I don't know why this has so few replies! This is a brillinat work of art, PERFECT for this place!!! Keep posting, and the rest of you, reply to this! It's going in MY library

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-13 07:39 PM


Great job on this poem.
I thought you did well!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-14 11:18 AM


I liked the question you proposed at the end.
Let me get back to you on that one...
Great job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-03-14 11:54 AM


Wow.. I really like this poem! You did a great job. I agree with Allan on the question at the end. Very nicely done.

--Marie

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 03-14-2001).]

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-14 12:21 PM


Wow.. I really like this poem! You did a great job. I agree with Allan on the question at the end. Very nicely done.

--Marie



[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 03-14-2001).]

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2001-03-14 12:30 PM


Some interesting philosophical questions here. My critique is for you to watch your spelling a little.

Anyhow, I think this was, on the whole, quite a good poem.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

grey::tears
Junior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 19
lost within my mind
7 posted 2001-03-14 05:15 PM


hey,
thanks for the notes. I know, i am working on my spelling, and my whole life it has been my worst subject, and i guess it still is.

A.K.S.
"Never fear something, just because you don't understand."

Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

8 posted 2001-03-15 09:54 AM


I ask myself that question everyday... anyway.. The poem was Magnificent!!! My attention was held by every word spoken/read. You did a wonderful job on this.. keep it up

Things will get better just be happy with what has come your way today, and keep living for what may come the next.~ By Amanda inspired by Brian

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
9 posted 2001-03-15 01:38 PM


Hey Gray::Tears,

This is great work, hope to see more of your work. Until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-03-18 10:56 PM


Why do you feel you have to be with them for you to be happy?
Don't let them accept you for who you really are not
My friend, you are doing this the wrong way
you should be with people who want to be with the real you
that's where you'll find happiness

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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