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Teen Poetry #4
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LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-04-02 10:13 PM


Decisions

My heart was hard
My soul was cold
My will was sharp
All this as is my blade

But then one day you came and took it all away

My heart begaan to soften
My sould began to warm
My will began to dull

This was good
This was great
For the first time I stood at lifes gates

I cast down my blade needing it no more
For now I had you

But now you leave me
Alone and broken hearted
Where you have gone I do not know
I have two choices but which to choose? Which way to go?
I could choose to go back to that which  I know
To live my life alone
In self imposed isolation
To take myself and
Forge my being as the blade I once held

Or I could cast aside that which I knew
And walk forward through the gates of life
For in walking foreward I may find you
For  it is only in the light that it may be

But if you are not there will I be able to cross back once more?
Or will I be left alone in this strange new world?
What am I to do ?


It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-04-03 09:00 AM


the stucture of this poem is very good and really adds to the work.  i really like the images and wording of this poem.  very good job, keep posting!

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-04-03 03:25 PM


   I have to agree on the metaphores, really good pictures painted.  A great message too, relevant to many people.

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-03 09:43 PM


I really really enjoyed this poem. I think you oughta walk through the light and figure things out from there. It may be a new world, but you'll have much to learn from it.
good luck. Great poem!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-04-03 09:44 PM


*Applauds*

This was fantastic!  The imagery was beautiful, and the metaphors were awesome!  VERY nice job, here!

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
5 posted 2001-04-05 11:45 PM


Thanks all of you for replying. i wasn't sure about this poem at all and it makes me feel good to know that you think its good.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-04-17 09:50 PM


Excellent writting my friend.  Very impressive indeed.  I hope to see more

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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