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Teen Poetry #4
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HappyPretender
Junior Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 38
Prince George, VA

0 posted 2001-03-13 09:31 AM


My tears are shed
And you still smile
All the while I wonder
Why it ended
Was love supposed
To hurt so much
And I remember
All your words
Of not hurting me
Not making me cry
For they were just lies
And now
Look what you did
Now it's too late
You're really gone
I cry so much
For I'm left behind.



<3~*Rachael*~<3
*we can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are*


© Copyright 2001 Rachael - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-13 09:40 AM


Well done! I think this poem has a good format. The last two lines hit hard and are quite well thought-out.
Good job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-03-13 09:50 AM


Awww, that's so sad! Makes me feel kinda guilty though...eek! I hav eto go apologize to her again, thanks for the read

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-03-13 06:48 PM


Nicely done here. I thought this was quite sad. Being left behind is so horrible. I know how it feels.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-03-16 07:13 PM


It is hard to get over someone
Everyone should know that
hope thing do get better for you
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-03-16 08:00 PM


That's sad... and I agree with acire, it is hard to get over someone. Very nicely written, though. I hope things only get better

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
6 posted 2001-03-16 10:25 PM


Hey,

Yes it is well writen and well done its a great poem and it is sad but still great. Keep up the good job and until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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