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Teen Poetry #4
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Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64


0 posted 2001-03-12 09:09 PM


Do they see me weeping
i am lying at their feet
they must not see me weeping
for they dont look back as they leave
they are much too busy
they dont have time to stop and see
everything thats happening
or the pain inside of me
no they do not love me
they dont have the time to start
but they allways seem to have the time
to stick daggers in my heart

© Copyright 2001 Brittany Mcpeak - All Rights Reserved
shadowmere
Junior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 11
Ohio, USA
1 posted 2001-03-12 09:13 PM


powerful...but think....rather than wondering if they love you....wonder why you would want them to if they can walk away so easily. Well done.

Can it be so that you’ve been so ignorant or am I just another soul, in loves mad torrent?

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-12 09:28 PM


Hmm... I'll have to say that I agree with Shadowmere. Although I am making the assumption that this person would be doing such a thing knowingly. Does he/she know how you feel? Or is this person walking away without noticing the daggers in your heart?
Nicely done.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
3 posted 2001-03-12 10:14 PM


Superb

Some people are worth fighting for, some people are worth fighting, and some people should be nothing more than a first glance. You decide.


and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

WaitN4AnAngel
Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 37
I wish I knew where I was...
4 posted 2001-03-13 08:45 AM


Another excellent post. Just wondering who this is refering to? My guess is that it could be a lot of people. But just what I think. Anyways, keep it up!

*Me*

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
*A smile is a curve that straightens out a lot of things*

Tears of Glass
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure
5 posted 2001-03-13 09:20 AM


this is another good poem. Well done.

*Jennifer

"My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see."

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-03-13 06:46 PM


I thought this was ok. I think that you have great thoughts here and I look forward to seeing more of you.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Silver Butterfly
Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42
Between here and the end
7 posted 2001-03-14 07:52 PM


That poem was decent, but it had a really strong ending. Something that my poems have a tendancy to lack. You poetry always has a constant theme too and doesn't seem to skip through different topics alot. Congrats. Ciao

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
8 posted 2001-03-15 06:37 AM


I'm so sory to hear about that! It's so powerfully moving! Wow...I hope you find happiness, a witer of such peotry must deserve to be happy.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-03-18 06:42 PM


This is a very moving poem
Such imagery it's put in my imagination
hope things are better
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
10 posted 2001-03-18 09:13 PM


You start out mysterious and wandering but you definitely finish strong. Good job.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
11 posted 2001-03-18 10:17 PM


Sadly enough
this is realistic..
well done
a powerful point made


~*Peachy Be*~

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